HE DOESN’T WANT TO GET SERIOUS

I am in my 40s and my boyfriend of three years has always made it clear that he doesn’t want a serious relationship. Having been divorced twice neither do I– I am not looking for marriage. We get on well, have lots to talk about and sex is great. He is a businessman, intelligent, very flirtatious, good-looking and popular with women. When we go to parties or business functions women line up to talk to him. There is one particular woman, a colleague of his, who dresses very seductively and makes a great play for him and he has admitted that they do meet for a drink or a meal sometimes. He says there is nothing in it and they are just colleagues, but he objects to the fact that I resent him seeing her. Am I being too possessive? It sounds as if you have different interpretations of not wanting a serious relationship. You have been hurt in the past by two marriages ending in divorce and at the moment you don’t want to embark on a third marriage. But you do expect fidelity on both sides, whereas I suspect that what he means by not wanting a serious relationship is the freedom to date and perhaps have sex with other women. This other relationship may still be at the flirty stage of wining and dining and enjoying each other’s company, but it sounds as though this woman wants more than that and the chances are he will happily be seduced. You need to clarify whether you both see your relationship as sexually exclusive and to make it clear that you are not prepared to share him. The wise thing would be to end it as I think you are likely to get more hurt if you don’t.