COULD HE EVER BE TRUSTED AGAIN?

I was devastated when I found out that my husband has had two affairs – we have only been married for seven years and had a good relationship. He said it was better that I knew and he has moved on – but I can’t. I find it difficult to trust him. Recently at a party I noticed he was flirting outrageously with a close friend of mine. When I confronted him he said that because of his affairs he thought that I didn’t love him any more and he was just flirting to get my attention. I love him but this is making me utterly miserable. What should I do? Unfortunately, I think he is lying to get himself out of trouble. Even if he is telling the truth, making overtures to a close friend of yours is hardly the way to win back your trust. It’s all very well for him to say he has moved on but he is not the one who has been betrayed. He can’t just brush it under the carpet. If you don’t have children, it would be best to leave the marriage. If you want to try to save it, then he owes you an honest explanation as to why he had affairs while you thought you had a good relationship. He also needs to show you how much he loves you and wants to be with you. For now he has to be prepared to tell you where he is going and who he is with – and expect you to check. Make it clear to him that if he had another affair the marriage would be over. Serial adulterers rarely want to leave the marriage; they just want to have their cake and eat it. Go for joint counselling, but he may have hurt you so much that you would be happier without him.