OH BABY, LET’S TAKE A BREAK!
It sounds bizarre but it is possible to have chill- out time with your little one in tow, especially when yoga, minders, healthy food and peaceful walks are readily available – and there’s even a disco to enjoy...
A magical Wicklow ertreat – that letsouy bring the little one along withouy
Women in yoga gear are lounging around on giant bean bags, bonding over glasses of wine after a relaxing day of asana practice, massage and woodland walks. The music is ambient and the lighting is low. Chocolate is being passed around and the mood is most definitely chilled.
This could be any other yoga retreat, except for one marked difference: there are babies everywhere. That’s right, tiny little squishes nestled in plush cushions, being rocked in arms or cradled in slings while mums sway their hips to the tunes and chat. What’s more, there’s not a shriek, cry or even a mooch to be heard from the ten little people in the room. The vibe, it seems, is affecting everybody.
Welcome to Ireland’s first mum and baby retreat at The elbowroom escape, a new boutique hideaway in the Wicklow Mountains. When I heard the concept I was intrigued. Can you truly rest and recharge with your baby there too? Yet the idea appealed to me.
I have three children under five – here was my chance to take time out with my seven-month- old, Leon, for a whole weekend, in gorgeous surroundings. I could get looked after for once, instead of looking after everyone else.
Much as I love maternity leave, the monotony of wiping floors, noses and bums can get a little overwhelming. I’m also utterly exhausted, with an insomniac baby who survives on disco kips and likes to party all night.
Alongside the great joy and happiness and heart-soaring love I feel when I look at my gorgeous little boy, my hormones are haywire, my body is a shambles and I’m properly frazzled. Of all the times in my life when I have needed to go on retreat, now must be top of the list.
The idea of holding a mum and baby retreat was one that Lisa Wilkinson – who owns wellbeing hub The elbowroom – in Dublin 7, has been nurturing for many years. As soon as she had her latest venture, The escape, up and running late last year, she enlisted the help of Melissa Curtis and Emily McElarney to put her plan in place. Between them, these two wonderwomen are pre- and postnatal yoga teachers, doulas, baby massage instructors, hypnobirthers, breastfeeding councillors – and they have three children each. Their knowledge, energy and passion for motherhood formed the very heart of the weekend.
‘Since I had my first baby, I’ve always dreamed of going on a retreat like this,’ says Melissa. ‘ There are lots of day activities in town, but the idea of staying over means you can really switch off.’
Emily jumped at the chance to run the retreat. ‘Melissa and I have six kids between us and we’ve had so many experiences of motherhood through that. We wanted the retreat to be restful for mums, allowing them simple luxuries like eating with two hands, having a massage, taking a yoga class, having a nap!’ she says. ‘But we also wanted
to give them confidence in themselves and their motherly instincts and help them to build a community among themselves.’
That community feeling starts before the retreat even begins. Women coming from Dublin team up to share cars and another mum, who takes the bus with her baby from Donegal, gets picked up from the bus station. There are bags, buggies and Babygros everywhere as ten mums unpack. We’ve all brought too much stuff – who knew how many monster poos your baby would deign to produce? – but the stylish en suite rooms are spacious enough to hold travel cots and all our baby paraphernalia.
Blankets, playmats, toys and changing bags overflow into the studio space. Ten mums and babies pile in, taking their places on the yoga mats. First, there are introductions. The babies range in age from eight weeks to nine months. There are first-time mums and others with two, three or four children, from all over Ireland, and we each have our reasons for being here.
First-time mum Caoimhe King is with her three-month- old, Callum. She received the retreat as a birthday present from her partner. ‘I wanted to meet other mothers,’ she says. ‘I love my friends but they don’t have kids yet.’
Mary Martin, who has four children under six, has brought her four-month- old Nóinín. ‘My partner told me to go,’ she says. ‘I need a break at this stage. There’s also limited stuff you can bring a baby along to and do something for yourself.’
Katrine Lea sees the retreat as a babymoon, a chance to celebrate and bond with her baby, Amelia, who is 11 weeks old. ‘ This came to me at the right time,’ she says. ‘It’s lovely to connect with other mothers – you go by your baby, but it’s nice to see what others do.
‘I also wanted a weekend away in the country, out of my bubble, and a chance to clear my head.’
It’s best to lower your expectations when it comes to taking a yoga class with your baby. Melissa’s class keeps the little ones amused, with plenty of clicking fingers, clapping hands and games of peekaboo incorporated into yoga
➤ moves. There are lots of much-needed shoulder openers and back strengtheners – essential for new mums who are constantly feeding and carrying their babies – and an infant engagement section of games and tickles, which the babies love.
Some of us are lucky and get to do the whole class; others spend a lot of time feeding or rocking. But we all get to soak up the relaxing atmosphere, find our breath and stretch our bodies.
The weekend retreat includes infant massage classes, a starting solids workshop, yoga and mindfulness exercises, a ‘tummy check’ and advice on postnatal exercise, with plenty of free time for hanging out, walks and naps.
Nothing is obligatory and the laidback, flexible schedule means we all work to our own little routines. For example, I try the infant massage but Leon lasts only ten minutes before getting wriggly and bored.
The younger babies, however, love it. They gurgle and coo as their mums learn gentle massage techniques to soothe their tiny nervous and digestive systems.
As for our own digestive systems, every meal leaves us feeling truly nourished. There is quinoa salad and a tangy carrot salad for lunch, with freshly baked bread and homemade hummus, which tastes extra special because I didn’t have to make it myself.
‘We made sure the portions were huge, we know new mums need a lot of feeding,’ laughs Melissa. ‘And it’s all healthy, energy- giving, vitamin-packed, delicious stuff.’
It’s a good job they’ve upped the portion size. For dinner, enormous trays of tasty veggie lasagne and colourful salads are demolished and bowls of sweet cacao and date treats give us all a healthy sugar high.
If breastfeeding mums need an extra 500 calories a day, this is certainly the way to get them. But the best part of the evening is that we all manage to eat with two hands.
Melissa and Emily manage to entertain all ten babies in the yoga studio – an incredible feat – while we have the chance to savour dinner without bouncing babies on our laps. And yes, there’s wine. Obviously we don’t overindulge, but a glass or two helps everyone mellow out.
There’s meant to be a sling disco on Saturday night, and although the music is pumping we’re all just a little too relaxed to hit the dance floor.
Instead we tone it down and talk about everything, from frank discussions about postnatal bodies and sex, to non-mummy topics, about who we are, what we do, where we have travelled and where we want to go.
It’s refreshing to discuss more than our new roles as mothers, despite our babies snoozing and feeding around us.
Sharing a room is the one part of the weekend that makes me nervous. Will my sleep thief wake up Nóinín, the other baby in the room? I’m desperate not to cause disruption. My roomie, Mary, is very relaxed and her little girl is a total sweetheart so I’m really hoping Leon doesn’t wake them – or vice versa!
It turns out babies don’t wake each other up with their cries, and you only really hear your own little one – another baby doesn’t disturb you in the same way. No, I don’t get a great night’s sleep, but I never do anyway.
Leon wakes early, so I throw a coat over my pyjamas, pop him in the sling, and tiptoe out quietly. Pottering up the stone-hewn steps, past the swing and outdoor hot tub, I follow a path into the forest.
There are numerous walks and hikes to do here, some more strenuous than others. I choose a wander through the woods alongside a little stream, the low sun already bright enough to throw shards of light through the dense trees. The stillness and peace soak into my skin as I deepen my breath to inhale the freshness of the new morning.
For me, this is really something. My day normally kicks in at 100mph, with an energetic toddler crashing into our bed, loud demands for milk and wriggly children to catch for teethcleaning and wardrobe negotiations.
Liz Walsh, mum to six-month- old Tadhg, feels the same way. ‘I came because I have another child at home and it’s chaos!’ she says. ‘I wanted to spend time with the newborn, especially time outside, in a “held” space with other mums.’
Liz is right. The escape feels like a safe, neutral place where there’s no judgment. If someone asks for advice, it’s given gently with plenty of positive options. Formula feeding or breast feeding? Who cares. Sling mama or buggy fan? It really doesn’t matter.
Never do I feel judged or that I’m doing something ‘wrong’, whereas some mummy gatherings can leave you feeling an utter failure.
A group of screaming newborns and hormonal mums is a heady cocktail that could easily have ended in disaster. Even Melissa admits she was apprehensive. ‘I was nervous beforehand, with mums sharing a room and being in such a close space,’ she says. But the combination of a great group of women, chilled babies and the endless nurturing we receive from Emily and Melissa (‘Can I hold your baby?’ they ask with a smile) left everyone relaxed and rejuvenated.
Emily is equally delighted. ‘My most satisfying moment was seeing the mums release and relax gradually and seeing them enjoy the social aspect. We marvelled at how well a group of complete strangers gelled together,’ she says. ‘Melissa and I had a special moment of satisfaction when we managed to keep ten babies happy in one go, while their mums enjoyed a fabulous meal and a glass of wine!’
On Sunday morning, a few of us sit outside sipping herbal tea after breakfast, the sun streaming down as our babies nap or feed. ‘I don’t want to leave,’ says one mum quietly. Heads nod immediately and we all murmur in agreement.
Although after all that peace and rest, a part of me can’t wait to face the chaos of a busy house and give my two little girls a hug...
THE elbowroom escape also runs yoga/Pilates retreats, Family Forest escapes, wellness days and supper clubs. The venue is available to hire for private family getaways or for teachers to run their own events. Visit the- elbowroomescape.com