He didn’t tell me he has HIV

A couple of days ago, I found out that my boyfriend of one year has HIV. I knew that he took a daily pill, but I thought it was for thyroid problems. The shock was unbearable and when I confronted him, he said that he hadn’t told me because of his fear of rejection. He caught it from a girl he slept with a few years ago. I am hurt about being lied to for a year. A couple of days have passed since I found out and he expects me to have got used to it. He says that I am overreacting and that we should move on and go back to normal, but I feel justified about being upset. I can see why your boyfriend might have been scared to tell you the truth at the beginning. However, he should have told you and no wonder you are shocked. His attitude doesn’t say much for him, I’m afraid. He should be more understanding and prepared to talk this through. Meanwhile, the first thing you must do is have an HIV test. There is no cure, but there are effective drug treatments. HIV treatment works by reducing the virus in the blood to undetectable levels, which prevents it from damaging the immune system. This also means that someone who is having effective treatment can’t pass the virus on. As he takes a daily pill, it is unlikely that he has passed on HIV, especially if he uses condoms. Get tested anyway for your peace of mind. If you love each other, you may be able to sort this out together, but you could find that his deceit and lack of understanding have damaged your trust in him.