He wants to have a child of his own

I am 31, divorced and have two children aged five and seven. I have been seeing a lovely man who is 40 for about two years. We love each other and have so much in common. He is great with my children and they adore him. The problem is that he would like to have a child of his own, as he doesn’t have any. I don’t think that I want another baby and have told him this, but I don’t want to lose him either. He is loving, good-looking, kind, intelligent, tall, great fun and has a good job – in fact, everything that I want in a man. He says that he would like to marry me, but I’m not sure that just being a stepfather is enough for him. It sounds as though he is a lovely man and, potentially, a great stepfather. As well as your love for each other, the fact that your children adore him is important. However, it is also understandable that he would like a child of his own. I appreciate what you are saying, but how would you feel if the situation was reversed? What if he didn’t want any more children, but you were longing for a child? It would be hard to sacrifice that desire and settle for not having one. If you did agree to get married, much as he enjoys your children, he might start to resent your reluctance if he couldn’t also have his own. You are still young and so are your children. I expect that they would accept another sibling. By having his son or daughter, you could probably enjoy a lovely family life. If you are certain that you don’t want to get pregnant again, you must talk it through together. It needs to be sorted out before you get married. You would need to make it clear that you will not change your mind so that he can either accept your decision and be with you or end the relationship and find someone with the same life goal. He is likely to make the second choice – and for you, losing someone you love would be hard.