LOVE, LOSS AND LAUGH-OUT-LOUD MOMENTS

HIGHLIGHTS FROM CARIAD’S GRIEF PODCASTS

Robert Popper on when his grandma was admitted to hospital: ‘She had a coughing fit and wasn’t breathing. We called an ambulance and followed behind. She was on a stretcher wearing an oxygen mask, clutching her handbag. They gently tried to take her bag from her but she was like, “No way, you’re not having it.” I said to her, “Don’t worry, you’ll be OK.” She took off her oxygen mask and asked, “Would you like a yoghurt?” She remembered at that moment that she had one for me. She took it out of her bag, then put it straight back and replaced the oxygen mask.’ SUZI RUFFELL on a moment shared before her grandmother died: ‘Before Nan died, I’d made her a photo album that tracked her life. I found the oldest photo I could of her, pictures of us as kids and the holidays we had. I got into bed with her and we went through it. She told me the stories I’d heard a hundred times. Then I said, “Nan, I’ve got to go. I’m filming with Jonathan Ross tomorrow.” And she said, “You know I’m off, don’t you?” And I was like, “Yeah, I do.” And she went, “All right then. Love ya.” Then I got in my car and cried all the way back to London. She passed away while I was filming with Jonathan Ross.’ SARA PASCOE on the death of her grandfather when she was a child: ‘As a child grieving, there is an awareness that you have to be really, really sad but at times you can’t stop yourself feeling happy, and at other times you can’t stop yourself feeling sad when you’re meant to be having a nice time. Whenever something good happened I’d be told, “Your grandad would be so proud of you.”’ ROBERT WEBB ‘Grief gives you instant wisdom. You’re suddenly the go-to girl. If anyone loses a cat they’re embarrassed to talk about it because the cat isn’t a parent. Then they think you might have some secret knowledge on how you deal with it.’ ROBIN CLYFAN on his mum’s illness: ‘What can really help is someone visiting from outside the family because it’s such a pressure cooker at home. There never feels enough space for anyone to grieve. You’re already grieving when someone’s terminally ill. A Macmillan nurse came round and looked at Mum and said, “You don’t look well, Ann.” There was a moment of truth and recognition. After that I tried to talk to her and she said she knew she was in denial. From that point she’d say, “Why would I talk about my death? There’s nothing more boring.” Before she went into the hospice she spent an hour giving me and my sister very prescriptive advice, such as, “Robin, this is what you should wear on Friday,” and “You should go out with someone who’s a very tall banjo player.” DAVID BADDIEL on losing his mother, who died of pneumonia: ‘It’s hideous. There’s no poetry, no Hollywood. The impetus, for me, is to talk about it. What I find difficult is not talking about it. The ageing of your parents, in my dad’s case [who has dementia], absolutely brings into focus your own mortality.’