She’s taking up too much of my time

My neighbour is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s. I am happy to help her, but she insists on coming into my house every Saturday afternoon for two hours. If I go out, she is waiting on the doorstep when I return. I can’t cope with someone taking over my time like this. My husband says I should just put up with it, so consequently we fall out. It feels as though he would rather have me be upset than our neighbour. This is a difficult situation, so it would be better if you and your husband worked together. Discuss this with him and explain that you feel sorry for her, too, but you are finding it trying. Tell him that it makes you miserable when you argue and ask him to help you find a compromise. Does your neighbour have any family members you could talk to? You could explain what is happening and tell them that though sometimes you would like to help and support your neighbour, you really can’t give up your whole Saturday afternoon. You probably need to be more assertive. When she comes over, talk to her a little, offer her a cup of tea and then gently persuade her to go home, hopefully with your husband’s backing. If she won’t leave, perhaps you could sit her in front of the TV and get on with all the things you want to do? It might help to talk to the Alzheimer Society of Ireland (1800 341 341, alzheimer.ie) for some help and advice on how best to deal with it. I hope that your husband will support you in this.