FIVE KIDS: ‘You should be ashamed; big families are the last thing we need’

CLOVER STROUD, 43, is married and has five children, Jimmy, 18, Dolly, 15, Evangeline, six, Dash, four, and Lester, two

It was my first trip out with my new baby. My elder children were with friends so I’d gone to meet my husband for lunch. Waiting in a café, an older woman lingered by my table, clearly longing to see the newborn. ‘What a sweet baby,’ she said kindly. ‘You must be proud. Is he your first?’ I smiled, cradling him carefully to let her get a better look.

‘Actually, he’s my fifth,’ I replied, brimming with pride. The woman froze, anger then disgust registering on her face. ‘You should be ashamed. Big families are the last thing this world needs,’ she hissed, leaving me reeling.

She wasn’t the first person to pass judgment on my reproductive choices. Telling someone that you have five kids always elicits some kind of response – from surprise and awe to outright horror and pity.

I’m the youngest of five. My mother gave me the sense that childbirth was an extraordinary gift and that a house bursting with children would always be happy. My elder brother and sisters were my idols and I grew up knowing I could handle anything life lobbed at me as long as I had a lot of siblings nearby. Despite that, I didn’t set out to have a large family. By the time I was 27 I was married with two children I adored. I didn’t feel the need for more. However, after I divorced and met my second husband, we both knew we wanted children together, too.

Today, my youngest is in nappies while my eldest has started driving. Having five children is relentlessly demanding and curtails some decisions. Private school is out of the question and holidays that start at an airport are rare as affording seven flights to anywhere requires a remortgage. I gave up my ‘family car’ for a minibus, always roast two chickens for Sunday lunch and think I should have bought shares in Persil. Every day is chaotic, messy and incredibly noisy but life as a mother of five is one filled with vivid colour and endless love – and that’s exactly why I chose it.