Should I contest my estranged father’s will?

My father has carried out his threat to disinherit me. He was always selfish, manipulative and bad-tempered. He subjected me and my mother, to whom I was very close, to years of psychological abuse. In 2014, after a terrible row we became estranged and he became more friendly with a female cousin of mine who is quite like him. My husband and I had always wanted to retire to the coast and begged my mother to come with us, but she refused. At 95, she had mild dementia and my father treated her like a redundant object. He and my cousin then forced her into a care home but she only lived for seven weeks after that. I heard recently from a neighbour that my father had died and my spiteful cousin has inherited the house and changed the locks. The estate is worth about €200,000 and he left €15,000 to the cleaner and €25,000 to a shopkeeper who used to go round to see him. I think it would be better not to contest the will as I could face years of litigation and financial loss, but I am so hurt and upset that I can’t think of anything else. This is so hard – I am sorry. The will aside, it must have been very distressing to have had a father like this and for you and your mother to have suffered his bullying behaviour. I suspect the news of his death has brought back much of the pain you endured over the years. It is very cruel when parents exclude a child from their will. It sounds as though he was a poor father in every way. Your cousin sounds equally manipulative and has clearly been sucking up to him with a view to inherit his money. You could try appealing to your cousin’s conscience and ask her if she would give you some of the money, but I suspect she won’t. Unfortunately, yes, contesting the will would probably cause you a lot of stress and may not be successful – but you should seek legal advice just in case. Allowing yourself to feel anger and bitterness will only bring you down, so try to let it go and concentrate on the life you have with your husband. Perhaps have counselling with Accord (accord.ie) to help deal with all of this.