I’ve been dumped by my best friend

One of my closest friends recently sided with another friend in an argument and they decided that they didn’t like me. They complained about me, made up stuff and said I was in the wrong. Now she has stopped seeing me because she said conflict isn’t her style. I want to write to her or call her but I know I would be stupid not to see it for what it is. However, I’m still upset and hurt because it reminds me of historic issues that might explain why she has rejected me so coldly. Should I accept that the friendship is over?

It is very hard to lose someone you thought was a very good friend. You don’t say what the historic issues are, which may have contributed to her rejection of you, but her behaviour sounds unkind and rather immature. Has she rejected you before? Have there been lots of arguments in the past, which have not been resolved? Alternatively, perhaps underneath she is jealous because you are more successful or you have a nicer lifestyle than she has? What you need to do is really look at whether this friendship is worth continuing. Do you think the fault is on both sides or has she always been the difficult one? Do you have other people you are close to? Sometimes friendships can be toxic and you need to let them go, otherwise you end up getting hurt again and maybe this is the case here. You could reach out to her but there is a strong chance that even if you made up now, she could hurt you again in the future. Perhaps you could talk it through with someone who doesn’t know her, such as a family member or boyfriend. In time it will get easier but, in the meantime, keep busy and make sure you see other friends.