THE NUDGE IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

Robin, 61, and Helen, 58

I didn’t expect to use my matchmaking skills on my own parents, but then Dad became a widower at 49. Even in the thick of my own grief, I deeply wanted him to find love again. Three years after Mum’s death he felt ready to dip his toe back into the dating world but didn’t know how, so over a pot of tea I set up an online profile for him, cheekily naming it ‘DateMyDad’. The funny factor helped us navigate a painful transition for Dad from an identity as a husband to widower to eligible single man. He eventually removed his wedding ring, and came around to the idea that his love for Mum could sit side-by-side a new love.

Just knowing that he had a team behind him (me and my brother), rooting for him through this new chapter, helped, he said, free him from the shame and guilt that can so often surround bereaved partners. It was a slow process with months of dead-end online exchanges (and lots of advice from me on how to write a first message). I gently checked in now and again, offering encouragement and reassurance, until he told me he’d been for a coffee with a lovely lady called Helen who he met online. What followed was a slow-burning love (Dad doesn’t like to rush things) and a relationship built on mutual respect and compassion for each other’s battle-wounded hearts. Almost a decade on, he and Helen are still a couple, and my brother Jack and I have a new friend. Robin says: ‘I can’t say I was on board with the username Emma set me up with, but it was the nudge I needed to put myself out there. I feel very lucky to have a daughter who was so willing to accept (not to mention help me find!) another partner after Jenny died. It’s not a role any daughter wants to take on but Ems knew even before I did that there can be love after love – and both of them can matter.’