Ne incredible journey
Her teenage son Sonny and her mum Janet set off on their first overseas or widen the half-century age gap? They all give their verdict here
Falling into bed, I couldn’t help but smile at my novel and unexpected setup. In the bedroom next to me, my 15-year-old son was catching up with his friends online, while on the other side of the wall my mum Janet, 64, was drifting off to sleep. I was thousands of miles away from my husband Richard and my other four children, but with me were two of the people I love most in the world – two people who just happened to have a half-century age gap between them but get on like a house on fire. Which is one reason why we were here on holiday in Japan, a happy three-generation crew on our first overseas adventure together. So far at least it was proving a roaring success…
H H H
The funny thing is that I wasn’t actually supposed to be in Japan, but had ended up tagging on to a trip planned by Mum. She loves all things Japanese and, together with my stepdad John, had booked a trip for February this year.
Mum shares her admiration of the country with her eldest grandson Sonny, whose desire to visit has been so longstanding that when he was ten he founded ‘Plan Japan’, a one-boy lobby to get his parents to book a holiday there.
Plan Japan proved effective. Two years ago, Richard and I decided we would organise a family trip to mark my
40th birthday – but it was scuppered when I became pregnant with my youngest son Mickey. That’s when Mum suggested Sonny join her and John for the week – he seized upon the idea eagerly, and not just because of the chance to check out Tokyo’s famed Pokémon centres.
Sonny and Mum have always been very close. Sonny was her first grandchild and, although I went on to have four more children who Mum adores equally, she has always made a point of spending one-on-one time with each of her grandchildren. She lives ten minutes from our home in West London so has developed lovely relationships with them.
She and Sonny are not dissimilar. They’re both good listeners and in the grand scheme of our big, chaotic family they’re both pretty chilled. They also like a lot of the same things, from a shared loved of fashion to sushi and cinema.
There’s no doubt too that, much as he loves his younger brothers – Mickey, one, Jesse, four, Ray, eight, and Kit, 11 –
Sonny can sometimes find family life noisy and full on. The idea of going away for a more peaceful trip with two grandparents he likes a lot was undeniably appealing. That was the plan anyway, although in Mum’s peripheral vision was the fact that John has stage-four secondary lung cancer. Sadly, as February loomed and his treatment plan changed, it quickly became obvious he wouldn’t be able to go.
By then I had already booked Sonny’s ticket, and Mum certainly didn’t want to let him down and cancel the trip.
That’s when she suggested that I take John’s place. I’ll admit I was intrigued as to what lay ahead. I’ve enjoyed plenty of extended family holidays with Mum, John, the kids and my siblings, but this would be the first time it was just the three of us. And, while Mum and I spend a lot of time together and like many of the same things – there’s only a 23-year gap between
A bubble tea and coffee
shop in Kamakura: ‘All three of us are fans of Japanese cuisine and not averse to trying new things,’ says
Janet us and she often feels more like a big sister – it’s a leap from coffees and dinners to spending a whole week together 24/7.
I needn’t have worried: from the moment we arrived in Japan we all settled into a happy routine, helped by the meticulously planned itinerary John had drawn up for the trip. A work of art – right down to the times of trains for day trips
– it meant that not only were Sonny and I treated to a well-rounded experience of Tokyo, but it felt that John was along for the ride. There was something for everyone too, from landmarks to vintage shops (quite a few of those, actually) to – naturally – Pokémon centres and museums about anime [Japanese animated films], planned specifically to ensure that Sonny’s Japanese passions were catered for.
We wandered happily in unseasonal sunshine through Yanaka, one of the oldest parts of the city. We drank cappuccinos (you’re never far from great coffee in Tokyo) and went in and out of secondhand clothes shops. That was until Sonny reminded us that the Pokémon centre was waiting.
John had also wanted us to get a sense of the wider country beyond and we were delighted to discover that you don’t have to travel far to find it. One of our best outings was to Kamakura, a coastal town less than an hour south of Tokyo and a place of hundreds of shrines and temples. There are so many wonderful memories, yet like all the best experiences, the most treasured moments were personal: Mum and I thrilled at discovering yet another vintage clothing shop, Sonny knowing a mindboggling amount about every anime series ever to leave Japan’s shores, and all of us giggling about the bizarre snatches of music the pedestrian sign at each road crossing plays.
More than anything, though, I loved the chance to spend time together without the demands of daily life. As a mum of five whose days are a frantic rush of dealing with my children’s ever-evolving needs, the opportunity to chat to
Sonny without endless interruptions was particularly precious. It’s very easy to let teenagers get lost in the wash – he’s more independent than my others and I’ve sometimes been guilty of leaving him to it – but having this proper separate time was wonderful.
Were there any downsides? Hardly. None of us was thrilled by the very hard mattresses in our Airbnb rental, and I couldn’t