EVERYONE’S TALKING ABOUT
Beyond the grave
I’m so pleased there’s a trend for communing with those in other realms.
Why am I not surprised that you see dead people?
I don’t ‘see’ dead people – I tune in to their frequencies.
Right. Do they mostly broadcast in FM these days?
They attempt communication in an easy-to-miss sliver of the electromagnetic spectrum. Sounds like the future of 2fm.
Your psychic skills are lacking, which is a shame as the dead have much to share with us. Such as…
Recipes, for starters.
Recipes for starters?
No, for ice cream. You’ve lost me.
If you had been up to speed on #gravetok…
Sorry, what?
The TikTok hashtag (1.2 billion views so far) for anyone passionate about graves and cemeteries. AKA taphophiles, in case you’re interested.
Fascinated, obviously, but how did ice cream make its way into all this?
In a recent article, The
New York Times highlighted the story of the #gravetok influencer Rosie Grant, who made ice cream for a woman called
Marian Montfort.
And?
It melted on delivery.
Didn’t Montfort own a freezer?
She’d been dead for 16 years and the recipe was inscribed on her gravestone – which is where Grant left the dessert.
You’re telling me that over a billion people want to watch someone leaving ice cream in a graveyard?
It’s not just ice cream. For the past two years 33-year-old archivist Grant has been bringing food to the final resting places of those who left recipes behind.
What else has she cooked up?
Fudge and chicken soup.
Odd choices but I suppose it demonstrates that respect for our forebears is alive and well.
Not so much in Ipswich.
What’s happening in Ipswich?
According to The Times, police officers are struggling to stop randy couples using fallen gravestones for acts which they coyly describe as ‘particularly disrespectful’. I’m as shocked as the Suffolk Constabulary!
Then take comfort in the fact that there’s historical precedent: Frankenstein author Mary Shelley is said to have lost her virginity near the grave of her mother Mary Wollstonecraft. Thank goodness Mary Senior was safely ensconced in the afterlife at the time.
Was she, though? A new study reported by The Telegraph suggests that more than half of people have been contacted by a dead relative.
While having sex?
The survey doesn’t say, but it does reveal that contact is most likely to happen if you are ‘moderately religious’.
I think I might like to try that.
Embracing the afterlife?
No, being moderately religious. What are the hours?
The article doesn’t specify, although one reader commented that it might equate to ‘believing in a deity three days per week or less’.
Sounds as though not all The Telegraph’s readers are taking this story completely seriously.
No, sadly the spiritually unattuned are everywhere. Although not in Westminster.
Has the British government appointed a ‘Tsar for the Beyond’?
Not yet, but The Mirror has reported that Rishi Sunak and his wife Akshata Murty have donated €3 million to Claremont McKenna, a Los Angeles college offering courses in ghosts.
Er, why?
Because Murty graduated from Claremont.
With a degree in ghosts?
No, in economics and French.
What would she have studied if she’d read ghosts?
According to The Mirror, ‘the interrelations between occult mediumship, modern media and technology’.
Maybe the college should consider a module on #gravetok.
RANDY COUPLES ARE USING FALLEN HEADSTONES FOR ‘DISRESPECTFUL’ ACTS
Good thought. It’s refreshing to see you dropping your flippancy about the afterlife.
Do you think Claremont has started work on its 2024 prospectus yet?
I’m not sure. Why do you ask?
Just wondering if I could get my hands on a skeleton timetable.