TOPLINE WELLNESS Permission to rest
Outline Ashley Neese is a breathwork coach and ‘somatic practitioner’ (AKA someone who uses physical activities to improve mental state – think posture and breathing exercises). She is based in, guess where? California. And is a regular contributor to, guess what? Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop. Her latest book, the follow-up to her 2019 debut How To Breathe, is called Permission To Rest.
Plot line A guide for how to rest. No long afternoon naps or banking eight hours of sleep, although Neese does recommend good consistent sleep. Rather, she tells me over Zoom, rest is looking inwards. Finding what makes us feel calm, and then doing small activities to encourage this calmness throughout the day.
Timeline All Neese’s clients tell: her ‘I don’t have any time to rest!’ She understands; she has three children under the age of four. The thing is, her kind of rest is achievable in a mere 60 seconds: five deep breaths before you get out of the car or off the train and go into the office. Or simply close your eyes for one minute – regardless of where you are – and concentrate on what’s around you, noticing smells and sounds. Such ‘micro-moments’ are enough to bring our brains and bodies into a state of calm. Also, you probably have more time to rest than you think. The average person spends four hours every day on their phone. Neese’s solution? Lock it in a ‘rest box’ or embrace a ‘social media sabbatical’.
Main line
Rest is a biological imperative and to do it well you need to access the parasympathetic nervous system (PSNS). For non-boffins, the PSNS is a network of nerves – controlled by the vagus nerve (longest of the cranial nerves) – that relaxes your body after moments of stress. Engaging it can improve digestion, lower heart rate and induce sexual arousal. Neese suggests an activity where you lace your fingers behind your neck, drop your right ear to your right shoulder, look to the right, breathe deeply four times and then repeat on the other side. The eye movements release constriction in your neck muscles and tone the nearby vagus nerve. And the more ‘toned’ the vagus nerve, the easier it is to engage your PSNS.
Guideline
Rest is a repetitive necessity and should be done after every 90 minutes of work. Ideally, in the sunny uplands of California, these breaks should be 20 minutes long. This being wildly unrealistic, one-, five- or ten-minute pauses will do. Also the restful activity can be small: standing up and stretching your arms or going for a walk around a park or down the street. Even looking at a tree. No trees in sight? Neese advises sticking a picture of one above your desk and looking at it: ‘It can be so simple.’
Headline Rest, it seems, is all in your head. Take making a cup of tea. I usually do this about six times a day (I know, I know) and it takes me roughly three minutes each time. During that period I probably think about 100 different things – did I forget to reply to that email? Does this milk smell funny? – none of them especially restful. Neese recommends a ‘tea ritual’: pick your bag with care, choose a mug you love and adopt a comfortable position while the kettle boils. Watch as the steam billows and then concentrate on how the tea changes colour as it brews. The idea is to turn something small and mundane into a purposeful and relaxing action. Neese’s book also recommends ‘satisfaction tracking’, where you make a note every time you feel fulfilled. Apparently, writing this stuff down forces us to be more slow and considered.
Finish line OK, so it all sounds very woo-woo, but Neese’s basic message is a sensible one: notice and savour small moments. Will closely watching a tea bag make you feel as well-rested as a spa trip or a full eight hours of sleep? Doubtful. But it’s more sustainable and achievable, so why not do it anyway? If it’s good enough for Gwynnie, it’s probably good enough for you.
Permission to Rest by Ashley Neese is published by September, €23.80
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