Letter-writing has an unassuming way of encouraging us to express ourselves

nce we saw the watermark on the envelope that read ‘Stockport’ we knew the letter was from Auntie Vera in Manchester. We would all gather around our mother and she would read it out loud. It always started the same way: ‘I hope this letter finds you well...’ and then it went on with the obligatory commentary on the weather before getting into the news of what little Johnny or little Mary was doing and how well they were getting on, which, truthfully, amounted to nothing really.

But it was reading between the lines which was the important bit because all the reports of the trivia and the mundane provided a silent relief that everything appeared to be alright.

This form of correspondence could be few and far between but people saw their siblings even less, especially if they lived in another country. My mother never learned to drive and neither did her sister and though they only lived 10km apart, they never saw each other more than three or four times a year. So they, like many people of their generation without phones, relied heavily on letters to maintain a line of communication with their loved ones.

There was great anticipation every day for the arrival of the postman to see what potentially life-changing news he could deliver. An unsealed letter was a letdown as immediately it indicated that there was no money inside. While a sealed letter could still disappoint with the classic line, ‘I was going to send money but I had already sealed the envelope’!

Professionally, letters took the lead too. They were brief and to the point. A solicitor once told me that writing to clients and third parties was a lot rarer compared to the frenetic exchange of correspondence we see today. Once a letter was sent out, it bought the writer at least a few days’ reprieve before the considered response would be returned, unlike the daily pounding of emails in our inbox, which I experience every day in the office where I work.

Ironically, electronic correspondence was supposed to cut back greatly on our reliance on paper but the amount of paper it wastes is devastating. Everyone tags on their reply to the originating email causing it to become longer and longer, resulting in the same content being printed repetitively. Advertisements and disclaimers at the end of emails can be unnecessarily exaggerated, again wasting more paper. This instant messaging can also manifest an unreasonable culture of expectations. How often have we sighed when we read: ‘I emailed you this morning and you still have not replied’? This just leads to frustration on both sides. Unfortunately, an email’s easy disposal makes us less responsible about how we manage it.

Years ago, documents were typed on typewriters and with correction ribbon not being as readily available as the ‘delete’ button, mistakes – impressively – were rare. Even going back beyond that, I have seen legal documents, some over 100 years old, so beautifully handwritten with care that they could resonate with the Book of Kells. It’s astonishing to think that even with more technology now and time efficiency, how poorly we can produce our correspondence sometimes.

My mother is a beautiful hand writer. If you mentioned long hand these days to a young person they probably would presume you were referring to some deformity at birth.

A cherished handwritten letter is something you can never throw out because of its uniqueness today. I am conscious of my own handwriting because everyone of my generation scribbles like a doctor’s prescription!

We cannot stop change, nor why should we? but as well as the art of letter-writing dying out, so is picking up the phone and asking someone, ‘But how are you, really?’

The likes of social media platforms, such as Whatsapp and Snapchat etc, waive our senses to make us overlook the bigger picture. Sure, we can bombard our friends on a daily basis with fragmented antidotes such as: ‘You watching The Late, Late? Do you think your man got Turkey teeth?’ This, however, can blindside us to making an effort to have a proper chat with someone. Similar to the letters, maybe if the trivia is forthcoming, all is well with the world?

However, letter-writing has an unassuming way of encouraging us to express ourselves. Frequently, we hear that writing your feelings down is a great emotional outlet and with so much emphasis on our mental health these days, it is such a simplistic and effective way to let off some steam.

Maybe this is why agony aunts got letters by the barrow-load. Perhaps, the afflicted already knew the answer and it was the process of writing down their woes that was cathartic. So the next time you have something on your mind pretend to be the agony aunt and write a letter back to yourself, telling yourself what to do. You might be surprised at how diplomatic and reasonable you are.

Writing a letter to anyone is very rewarding.

The receiver will be so grateful that you took

10-20 minutes of your busy day to dedicate that time exclusively to them. Send it on a special occasion and maybe enclose an actual photograph, for example. Remember, the greatest gift you can give to someone is your time and that cherished letter will never be thrown out, unlike the shredding.

Whispers On Main Street by Marie O’Connor is published by Poolbeg and available now

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