Practical Parenting

With Alison Canavan

AS A single mother to James, who is five, Alison Canavan knows all about the balancing act that is parenting.

The model and entrepreneur is also passionate about raising awareness of mental health issues, having herself suffered from post-natal depression. Every week, she will draw on her own experiences and knowledge to give down-toearth tips, honest opinions and from-the-heart advice…

IT has been an overwhelming week with my first book being released, but nothing will ever beat James’s reaction to seeing my book. I was dressing him after swimming and we were both in the cubicle when I asked him if he wanted to see what was in the envelope.

Excitedly he said: ‘Yes please Mum’ and I took my book out. His reaction was so genuine and full of admiration and love that I just started crying. He said: ‘Wow, Mum, look at your book, it’s so beautiful and I’m so proud.’ Then he told me it was upside down and we both burst out laughing!

Last weekend, as we drove around Ireland looking at venues for my new shows, James said he was going to read my book in the car. Mum and I tried our best to keep a straight face considering he’s five and can’t read yet. We could hear him trying to sound out words like THE and CAN and saying: ‘Mum, it’s just so beautiful.’

Then he asked which page the food pyramid was on and commented: “I really hope people understand that the most important part is water!”

It just proves how much information children absorb.

How much information they absorb was proved later on that day again as he repeated his mummy’s dream from the night before to a hotel manager, which was that I ended up coming home from a party in a taxi in only my underwear, which he must have overheard me discussing with my mum that morning!

I scrambled to explain to the hotel manager that it was a dream and not real life, obviously. I constantly tell myself to enjoy the journey and not the destination and I have to admit, as hard as it’s been, I have enjoyed every second of this journey so far with James.

I felt like there was a role reversal last week as my five-year-old kept saying: “Don’t be nervous, you work so hard” and “I think mums will love your book.” Every day that child makes me proud and in turn he has given me the gift of finally being proud of myself. Initially I fought because of James and for James, but because of him I now do it for myself, too. I now value myself enough to treat myself better, beat my own personal best each day and really try to live each day, no matter what life throws at me. I have fought a daily battle to reach this point and even on bad days I would still push myself to just keep going.

There were so many doors closed on me in the last few years that I started to doubt one would ever open, but I have a rule and that is to get up every single day and start again. The door did eventually open and I’m delighted that Deirdre from Gill publishers listened to me (for hours, poor thing!) and they took a chance on my book. I have had the pleasure to work with an amazing team, which is exactly what myself and James are — a team. Six years ago all I saw were broken dreams and personal failures and now I’ve achieved more than I could ever believe possible and the best is yet to come.

The day I gave birth to James I was reborn into a world of possibility and hope.

Having a baby is a transformational time for any woman, but just remember that it’s important to take care of yourself, to still follow your dreams and to do your best each day. James has been my greatest teacher in this lifetime.

He has forced me to be present in a world gone mad and to appreciate what’s right in front of me each day. He forced me to fight my demons and find true wellness and contentment.

I would like to thank everyone at the Irish Daily Mail this week, including my editor Lynne, for all their support, and to everyone who has written me words of encouragement you have no idea how those mails have motivated me.

I hope you all enjoy my first book Minding Mum (€16.99 in all stores now) and follow me on my website for news about my upcoming events, The Full 360.

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