The one lesson I’ve learned from life

Jenny Seagrove

ACTRESS Jenny Seagrove, 59, made her name in the 1983 film Local Hero, and TV dramas A Woman Of Substance and Judge John Deed. She lives with her partner, film producer Bill Kenwright.

NEVER GIVE IN TO YOUR FEARS

I GREW up a bit of a gypsy. I was born in Malaysia and spent my early childhood moving around Asia.

My father, Derek worked in intelligence during World War II as a Japanese interpreter. He stayed out in the Far East and set up an import/export business.

When I was less than a year old, my mother, Pauline suffered a stroke giving birth to my baby brother. She lost the baby and was unable to care for me.

A wonderful, kind, vibrant woman suddenly lost capacity and became different from other mothers. And that’s always difficult for a child: we want our parents to behave properly.

Wherever we went, my mum would have to take a fold-up stool with her because her left side was so weak she couldn’t stand for long.

As I grew older, I realised what an extraordinary woman she was, but as a young child I’d think: ‘Oh, Mum, please don’t do that, it’s embarrassing!’

Aged nine, I went off to boarding school. I was home once a year, so spent a lot of my holidays as a guest in other people’s homes.

Living as a nomad, you learn to be polite. I was grateful to them for having me, but had to be always on my best behaviour. I couldn’t be rude or fight back, and I think an essential part of childhood is being able to rebel.

I know I can be slightly formal and a bit shy, and for years I kept thinking: ‘Why am I like this? It’s really annoying.’ Then one day I realised: ‘Oh, OK, because I’ve never been in my own space, I don’t get to burp.’

But I’ve learned you can change the journey of your life by being in control of your thoughts and your actions.

Every year, I have a New Year’s resolution: ‘I won’t be afraid’.

Often I fail, but at least I have a go. It doesn’t matter if you make a mistake, so long as you say sorry.

The bottom line with fear is: Is it going to kill me? If not, why be afraid?

JENNY SEAGROVE stars in the new film Another Mother’s Son, out on Friday.