No kidding... this is where to take your giddy goats!
IF you want a relaxing night away with your other half, then leave the kids at home. A mini-break is not relaxing with a three-yearold and a one-year-old. An exhilarating, indigestioninducing joy ride but relaxing? No.
It’s messy, somebody usually gets hurt and everybody turns cranky but, still if I’m going away, I’m bringing my little darlings.
I took my two boys, and my husband Dave, to the Millrace Hotel in Bunclody on the River Slaney in Co. Wexford. The hotel is right beside the town, perfect for urgent excursions to the fabulous Sugar & Spice bakery on the Main street, full of delicious pretty cakes, and therefore not suitable for habitual dieters.
The Millrace describes itself as family-friendly. My standards may be low but all I really expect from such a hotel is that they’re not rude to my kids. No disapproving stares when one of them loses it if he’s been blocked from hurling all the sachets of ketchup and mustard on the floor or dumping the salt cellar into another guest’s wine glass. No shoving us in the worst table because of our ketchup-throwing children. That sort of thing.
The staff at Millrace Hotel were sweet, caring and friendly, and put up with a fair amount of high jinx from my two boys in the 24 hours we stayed there. There was no sense that we should leave the building forthwith, our heads hung in shame at the public display of our shoddy parenting. The options for staying in a hotel like this with a young family are: go to the pool, hang out in the room (unless you have several iPads, an iPhone and a cast-iron guarantee there is a TV with a cartoon channel in your room, don’t do it) or, leave and go on an adventure. There’s plenty to do nearby – hiking on Mount Leinster, visiting gardens such as Newtownbarry House or Duckets Grove, or driving to beautiful beaches such as Curracloe and Blackwater, just an hour away.
We took the boys to the Secret Valley Wildlife Park & Zoo in Clonroche, Co. Wexford, and it was brilliant. The staff were too, casually holding rats, scorpions, snakes, racoons, lemurs, guinea pigs and showing the kids how to hold them. I was so inspired I cuddled a rat called Dumbo and petted a llama with ‘a tendency to spit’. My eldest, Kit, fed a goat and the rambunctious baby, Guy, made pals with an adorable but suspicious Shetland pony.
IT was a half-hour drive back to the hotel, and we spent a pleasant hour in the pool splashing around with the boys. Facilities like this are important, as you can’t just hang around the bar enjoying a pint with wild toddlers in tow. We did try – the place was lively and packed with the Ireland v England rugby match on – but we quickly moved to the adjacent bistro after the youngest knocked over a pint in an effort to get to those pesky sauce sachets.
There’s plenty of choice on the menu, from Thai red chicken curry to slow-cooked pork belly, and it’s fairly priced – the dearest dish is the 8oz Angus fillet steak for €28. My husband had that, and it came with mushroom, onion rings, pepper sauce, tomato and chunky chips. In short, everything a hungry male wants. I had plaice fillets, with capers and a lentil salad on the side. They were fresh, light and lovely.
We ordered a ‘children’s roast dinner’ – roast pork and apple – for the one-year-old and a burger and chips for the eldest, though one dish between the two would have been more than enough. Daringly, we stayed in the bistro until after 8pm, when the place was starting to fill up, though when a couple who appeared to be on their first date were seated next to us we scooped up the kids and left so they could eat without choking on their steak.
Our family room (it books out quickly) was functional and large, the two adjoining rooms each with a bathroom. We bathed the boys, let them run around and put them to bed in one room and took the other, firmly closing the door that divides the rooms.
Next morning, we had a massive breakfast in the bistro bar again – fruit, yoghurt, bacon, eggs, black pudding and coffee – and left for another adventure.
We found The Green Barn, in Burton House & Gardens in Athy, Co. Kildare. It is stunning, with retro décor and a fabulous garden, where they grow all the food they serve in their cafe.
The owner’s children were helping out in the kitchen, and my sons were fascinated. Back in the car, my three-year-old asked if ‘we could go back to our holiday home’, (he thought the hotel was incredible because it had a TV in his bedroom), while I prised a stolen ketchup sachet out of the baby’s fat fist before we drove home. Not relaxed, but happy. ÷A room at The Millrace Hotel is €64 per couple, subject to availability, through irishdailymailbreaks.com. If a family room is available, there is no charge for children under 10, though you pay for their meals. The Secret Valley Wildlife Park can be booked online, or takes drop ins, see secretvalley.ie, and you should book The Green Barn (burtonhouse.ie) as it gets busy at weekends.