SEAT FOR EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE?
FINE Gael is not and never has been a party of privilege,’ said Leo at the Minella Hotel, set amid sprawling grassland and tall trees, as fat cattle grazed and the majestic River Suir meandered lazily through the grounds.
But the lads and ladies of Government have somehow made the most of their Republic of Opportunity. Party chairman Martin Heydon spoke of them ‘taking two days out’ to look at the vision Fine Gael has for the future.
Two days out? The Dáil is not yet back, having risen in July. Their eight weeks off still has the power to gall the outsider... but this was the Leo Love-in, and to hell with how it might look. It was all LV, apart from the Fine Gael cupcakes with iced-on party logos, the fuss over which could raise further hackles out in the real world.
The Taoiseach wasn’t even in the room to rise from his place to make the address, but had to be announced from the dais before making a presidential-style entry from a corridor.
As he did so, they were already on their feet, primed to deliver the first Standing Leovation.
The Taoiseach was immaculately dressed in dark suit, crisp white shirt and crossthread magenta and blue necktie, as befits all things to all men. There was even a ‘Kiss Me, Kate’ moment for Simon supporter Kate O’Connell, the inflammatory pharmacist who had gone to war with the Leo loyalty for the Coveney campaign.
And so to the speech, with the new leader emphasising that every new policy idea had to be ‘road-tested and properly politically proofed’. That was part of the purpose of the think-in after all, even if the dead cat of water charges, as Michael Noonan termed it, had to be scraped off the road and the surface hosed down before any testing.
The Limerick bruiser was not in evidence, which meant there was nobody to growl at Bobo, the hotel labradoodle, as it wandered among the throng. Enda Kenny was also absent, as if someone had warned him that Bobo has vastly more luxuriant blond hair.
Leo listed some achievements, and suddenly there seemed to be a swipe at all the coverage of his socks, which he himself had encouraged. ‘So when people mention style, I think of all that substance,’ he quipped. Somebody tweet that quick!
The Republic of Opportunity was not just a glib soundbite, he was at pains to point out. It will be an organic, evolving policy departure that will finally kick into oblivion all the Just Society rubbish, although he didn’t actually say that last bit.
Delegates were, needless to relate, wildly excited, especially as he suggested that being so constantly attuned to public desires would deliver a Recurring of Popularity. There’ll be a Dáil seat for everyone in the audience.
That’s when he finished by saying they weren’t a party of privilege, leading to another Standing Leovation. The Taoiseach, their leader, looked suitably gratified. He descended amongst them and proudly announced: ‘Lunch, everyone!’