I think Ireland is FINALLY ready for my SEX parties!
So says Emma Sayle, a friend of Kate Middleton’s who says we’ve left our prudishness behind and are keen to explore our sexuality
want to be seen behaving like this near where they live whereas in London they really don’t care.
‘The same difference happens in America, the LA lot are much more image-conscious, but behind closed doors they’re up to all sorts. But in New York, it is what it is and who cares what you’re doing as long as no one is getting hurt and no one is being cheated on?’
In Ireland, however, there is the very real possibility of ending up at one of these shindigs and recognising a fellow reveller. ‘That’s why we take a much more gently, gently, softly, softly approach in Ireland,’ says Sayle. ‘Everyone seems to know everyone.’
Those worried about bumping into neighbours or work colleagues can take comfort from the rule that party-goers must wear masks. ‘The masks are universal and have been since day one,’ says Sayle. ‘You can take them off later after the drinks reception and a lot of the time people do. But they add an element of mystery and help make people a lot more relaxed, especially if they’re first-timers. Plus it looks good.’
She says the demographic of their patrons is ‘very AB’ — in other words, high-flyers.
‘The average age for women is mid-30s to late 30s, while it’s early 40s for the guys,’ she says. ‘I’d say there’s a similar mentality but everyone is from very different backgrounds. They all have the same mindset, hedonistic, high achievers and driven. Positive optimists who want to experience life and the world.
‘They’re the ones who are climbing up mountains and jumping out of aeroplanes. They’re not happy sitting on the sofa with a bottle of wine and doing the missionary position with each other every weekend.’
Parties are kept small, usually to between 40 and 150 people. ‘There were about 100 people at the party in Dublin,’ she says.
So far, most of the events have been held in the capital, although they do plan to move further afield. ‘We’ve had some offers within a two-hour drive of Dublin, country house-type places,’ says Sayle.
Owners of the most recent venue, however, were apparently unaware of the kind of ‘celebration’ that was taking place at their property, which has five luxury bedrooms and a nightclub in the basement.
‘No, they didn’t know,’ admits Sayle. ‘But I don’t think we’re in trouble. In fact he said he’d host us again as we left it in immaculate condition. We are very respectful, we always do a big clean-up.
‘These aren’t parties that trash venues, people aren’t there to get hammered. They’re well-behaved people. We always vet the locations to make sure they’re suitable and most of the time the owners know what’s going on.’
After the filming incident at the last Irish party, Sayle says security at the Killing Kittens parties will be now beefed up. ‘There will be extra staff and security men on the door and in the venue,’ she says. ‘It was a total breach of privacy. It’s in our terms and conditions when you sign up, no filming or photographs and you must be a genuine person. The journalist breached that, they signed up using a fake name. But now we’re going to have ID checks on the door and people may have to sign a non-disclaimer agreement, to say they they’re not a reporter. I’m completely mortified with what happened, but we do still have the trust of our members I think, they know it’s not going to happen again.’ Of course Sayle is well used to publicity. Her connection to Kate Middleton, although fleeting, has garnered her an impressive amount of coverage in the last ten years. The two women both went to the exclusive girls’ school, Downe House. But with Sayle several years ahead of the princess, they weren’t friends at that point. It was in 2007, when Kate and Prince William had broken up, that the two became acquainted through a group Sayle founded called the Sisterhood.
This group of privileged women regularly undertakes unusual sports challenges to raise cash for charities. Back in 2007, they raced an all-male rowing crew across the English channel. The press, naturally, had a field day when it was revealed the organiser of the event ran sex parties for a living. It was the only Sisterhood event that Kate took part in.
‘Our paths crossed for a very short space of time and we’re in very different worlds now,’ says Sayle. ‘That’s it. We’ve got a lot of mutual contacts but she does what she does and I do what I do.’ Sayle is married to former Olympic English hockey player James Tindall and
‘My parents know it’s just business’
they have two children, a threeyear-old son and an 11-month-old daughter. She has no concerns about explaining her career to them in the future.
‘I look at what society has accepted in the last 12 years, since I started Killing Kittens,’ she says. ‘By the time they are old enough to think about it, it will be perfectly normal.’
She also says her parents are fine about the business she runs, even her father, Colonel Guy Sayle OBE, who was the former defence attaché to Egypt and Kuwait.
‘My dad kicked off a bit at the beginning,’ she laughs. ‘But I said to him: “You always told me to be the best at what I’d be, you just didn’t give me any parameters.”
‘They’re fine. And they know it’s business. Half our events in Britain now don’t even involve sex, it’s talks and education, it’s a much bigger entity.’
Family commitments and Killing Kittens partnerships across the globe in Australia, America, France and Spain mean Sayle has only attended two or three of the parties in Ireland. But her crew here tell her that patrons are very well behaved. The only real difference she has noticed in Ireland is pretty predictable.
‘Out of all the parties in the world, the Irish bar spend is definitely the highest!’ she exclaims. ‘We need to double the amount of alcohol for the Dublin events. I don’t think it’s Dutch courage, it’s just because they’re Irish.’