It’s time for the BBC to tell Lord Sugar HE’S FIRED
TV shows have shelf lives. There is no getting around that.
Whether you are sick of the X Factor or have had Strictly enough of the BBC dancers, each format can only keep digging up the same old routines, sob stories and twists before the public start switching off in their droves. Ireland is a sort of a microcosm of the UK landscape. Due to the vast gulf in populations — 65 million in the UK versus 4.7 million here — TV formats can often limp on in England, while in Ireland they get the chop at the first major dip in viewers.
Take The Voice of Ireland. There is little doubt that they were doing as good a job as their partners in crime across the pond. They faced the same criticisms. The show was only good at the blind audition stages and neither version managed to unearth a star singer with any chart success. Yet, after five seasons RTÉ pulled the plug, while the Voice UK still continues to limp away on ITV.
The X Factor is a different beast and may seem to be on its last legs as the six million viewers it has now is a good way off the 15 million heyday back in 2010. Even so, that’s still an advertising triumph and while the sheen may be long since gone from the show, Simon Cowell will definitely be back next year, casting caustic aspersions on 16-year-old singers who believe their lives depend on his affirmations.
BUT one format I feel is dead in the water is The Apprentice. The show that was once appointment viewing, where Lord Alan Sugar castigates wannabe entrepreneurs, is currently 10 episodes in to its latest series.
This used to be the best thing on the box since sliced bread and even spawned the brilliant Irish version with Bill Cullen in the boardroom. When things started to slide for Bill and he ended up with less money in his bank account than most of the applicants, TV3 pulled the plug. But over in London, Sir Alan was allowed to plough on even though, like The Voice, he never really managed to unearth a business success of any real standing. In fact, many of the people who won the show either left the company or were shown the door.
I watched this current run until this week’s episode when I was forced to switch off due to the paucity of mental fortitude of the boardroom contestants.
We’ve reached a stage where Elizabeth, who would have been nothing more than comedy gold just a few series ago, and likely gone by Week Three, has become arguably the most likely winner.
That’s right — Elizabeth, the bumbling, self-confessed control freak whose cooking presentation in the last task stands as one of the most cringe-worthy moments in the show’s history, is now our likely winner. And while Elizabeth is making some good viral TV moments, you wouldn’t let her sell lottery tickets at a bus depot.
For my mind this is essentially what is wrong with The Apprentice format. It has become I’m A Celebrity for thicks in suits. Instead of bush tucker trials, you have humiliating scenarios where toffs are sent out to the streets of London to act like cockney traders or modern day Del Boys.
And deep down, while you are ultimately delighted that these privileged, self-proclaimed business titans get ritualistically taken down by Lord Sugar in the boardroom, you are always aware that there’s no way that he would ever go into business with them on a long-term basis.
Even the fact that the prize is now a £250,000 investment, rather than a job, indicates he’s no longer willing to invest in the winner.
The days of celebrating clever, competent candidates like Stella English and Ruth Badger, are well and truly over. We are one ratings slide away from having John and Edward Grimes suited and booted and sent into the boardroom to argue with Stavros Flatley over ticket sales at the Salford panto.
If Lord Sugar has any real insight left into the media world, he’ll make his excuses and call time on the show, because if all he wants is to be on TV, he could still strut his stuff on Strictly Come Dancing or, God forbid, go into the jungle.
It’s time for the BBC to have the courage to follow TV3’s example and fire the Apprentice.