CHRISTMAS is about LOVE. It’s about CARING and sharing and the joy of a new baby...
So says bestselling author of Angels In My Hair Lorna Byrne, who is here to remind us to ditch the seasonal stress, embrace the joy and spread the magic
LIKE many other Irish grannies, Lorna Byrne is soft-spoken, unassuming and wears a sensible padded jacket to stave off the winter chill. But she’s not like other Irish grannies really, is she?
Almost ten years have passed since her first book, the number one bestseller Angels In My Hair made the 64-year-old Dubliner a spiritual superstar and global publishing phenomenon.
It told the extraordinary story of how she has seen angels since babyhood and how they told her, among many things, that she would marry her husband Joe and that he would die young, in his late 40s.
Remarkably, she told nobody about her visions until relatively late in life — a reticence that makes her story all the more compelling. Her more recent book, Angels At My Fingertips, ups the spiritual ante, with the angels taking her soul back in time to play on the tree of life with Jesus as a boy. On another occasion, she is shown images of the crucifixion in stomachturning detail.
In these secular times, sceptics presume Lorna must be at best delusional, at worst a charlatan. And yet, she is in such demand the world over — mainly by young people across all religious faiths — that she spent six months of this year abroad giving talks as a ‘peace ambassador’. Now here
At Christmas play and make good cheer... THOMAS TUSSER
If there are barriers between you and your family, take them down. Because when a loved one is taken away you will realise that you have wasted all those years...
she is in a Dublin hotel, without a headscarf or a magic ball in sight, as down to earth as anyone you could ever expect to meet.
The message she is desperate to get out today is less about time-travel and supernatural beings and more about something we all hope to experience at this time of year: the magic of Christmas.
ACCORDING to Lorna, we are in danger of losing this magic, and she has practical suggestions for how we can avoid getting stressed and remind ourselves of the true meaning of Christmas — whether that’s mending bridges with a family member, coping with the first Christmas after the death of a loved one, or steering clear of that spike in divorce rates following the festive season.
‘This is a very special time of the year and I love it. But Christmas is losing love,’ she says. ‘We have to stop looking on Christmas as just commercial. It’s about love. It’s about caring and sharing. To me, it is the joy and excitement of a new baby being born. And we’re all responsible for this infant, who represents each and every one of us.’
A practising Catholic, more than once Lorna returns to this image of the baby Jesus lying naked and vulnerable in the manger.
‘It draws this love out of us. Our hearts are going out to it and we want to pick it up and take care of it and protect it. I’m even holding back the tears now because I feel emotional inside about that.
‘And it has given us so much hope that we are capable of loving and taking care of each other. And that hope is the light that burns bright in the world. The angel of hope who carries that massive torch is helping us to keep the light of hope burning.’
Like this, Lorna often casually drops particular angels into the conversation. These days she sees more of them than ever because ‘the gates of heaven at this time of the year just open that little bit more’.
The ‘mighty’ Christmas angels are ‘giant in size’ and ‘walk down from the heavens’. They hold up a hand to ‘the chest area, the heart’ of every human being ‘and it lights up your chest. And I know that’s a way God is trying to help us to make the decision to release the love that’s inside of us, to be kind, to be gentle’.
At Christmas time, she also sees ‘a never-ending stream’ of angels, each carrying a ball of light which they drop on every home ‘to help us release that love that is inside of us and that’s a gift that God is giving us at this time of year.’ Many of us might find ourselves instead releasing frustration that deliveries have yet to arrive or worry that we haven’t found the latest it-toys for our children. Throw in a bit of road rage at the increased traffic in our towns and despair at the long list of ingredients required for the perfect festive spread. That adds up to a lot of yuletide tension before we’ve even summoned the courage to check our credit card statements.
‘It shouldn’t be stressful. It’s not that Christmas is allowing this — we are,’ she says. ‘We are allowing it to be stressful. We have decided to stop enjoying Christmas. We’ve stopped seeing what Christmas is about and we’re doing that to the children, even. They’re not seeing what it’s about either. We need to teach children about Christmas again, not just in schools but at home.’
LORNA suggests we ask children what they could give to someone else and encourage them to make it themselves — perhaps something as simple as a card.
‘That’s done with so much love. You can’t buy that in the shop. That’s not for sale. Those things then are the most precious gift.’
When it comes to gifts we must ‘give with a pure heart and expect nothing in return’ — even if we spent a load of lolly on someone who repays us with a pair of socks. ‘That idea of, “If I give a gift I should get one in return and if I don’t get it in return I’ll be angry” — that’s not love at all,’ she says. ‘It’s not about buying material things. If you can give someone something that is worth more than money, that’s incredible. That could be telling them you love them. That could be friendship. Or a visit. Or making that phone call or sending that Christmas card.’
Lorna has sent three hundred cards but many people have complained this year about each stamp costing a euro. ‘I would say lots of cards you can drop in a letterbox if someone is close enough. If you’re meeting friends, give them the card then. But remember another thing — you’re keeping someone employed when you buy a stamp. Give with an open heart and you shouldn’t expect a card back.’
She encourages families to decorate their homes together.
‘Lots of people think “I can only do this if I have small children”. Your children could be adults — bring them all together to do this. Bring the spirit of Christmas back and start to enjoy it. Even encourage the teenagers to do the decorations. We’ve stopped a lot of that. There are a lot of families that don’t bother,’ she says, sadly.
‘They don’t have to go out and spend a load of money. They can make some of the decorations and have fun and be throwing it at each other, you know what I mean? “You go in and make a cup of tea while I’m threading this popcorn”. How cheap is popcorn
and a spool of thread and a needle? You can even dye them then. You can do all kinds of things. Be creative.’ What if we don’t have time? ‘Listen, you have time. Time is a very precious gift. Don’t be wasting it. Use it at Christmas time with family and friends.’
Many families are estranged and Lorna says pick up the phone and say sorry — even if you are right and they are wrong.
‘If there are barriers in your family, take them down. I know sometimes people won’t talk to their Mam or their Dad or their brothers or sisters or aunts or uncles over something that later on they will realise was so trivial. Because when a loved one is taken away from us you realise you wasted all those years. And you even stopped nieces and nephews from getting to know each other.’
She suggests sending a Christmas card, phoning — or even inviting them to visit.
‘If they don’t come, that’s okay, you’ve invited. Again you do it with a pure heart and you expect nothing in return. And don’t be afraid. Even if you believe you were in the right for the last ten years say you’re sorry anyway. Because whatever started it, ten or twenty or even thirty years ago, you won’t quite know. The story will have changed umpteen times. Go and say you’re sorry and open your arms.’
What if they don’t acknowledge you or say sorry in return?
‘It doesn’t matter. You let them know you’re sorry, send them the card and when next Christmas comes, do the same. It’s a gift you can give and it doesn’t cost you anything only the emotion of love. But love is very important and that’s what Christmas is about. There are loads of gifts we can give that people would rather than material things and that is one of them.’
By setting these sorts of examples for our children, we in turn show them love. Instead of expensive gifts, she suggests we give people more of our time this Christmas.
‘Time is a priceless gift. People think of time for ourselves. We don’t like giving away time. Maybe we can give time to someone else instead of sitting watching TV programmes. All year you have been running around the place because parents are so busy. Say to your child or your teenager, “I’ll meet you after school in the local cafe”. Then talk to them and really listen to them.’
Christmas is a lonely time for many, particularly those who lost loved ones during the year.
‘I know people all over the world who would say it’s the saddest time but I would say to them that your loved one doesn’t want you to be sad. They want you to be enjoying Christmas and for you to know that their soul is there with you at Christmas time as well. They want you to be cheery, remembering all the good times and laughing. They don’t want us crying and being sad.’
Lorna thinks it is fine to lay a place for absent family members ‘because that is helping someone to grieve’. If you are visiting a grave, do so ‘celebrating Christmas knowing that your loved one is in heaven, that you will see them one day and they are home before you are.’
But what about people who don’t believe in God or an afterlife?
‘I would often get sceptics who would be really critical — and yet they would have so many questions to ask. Other people would often say, “Lorna, I don’t believe in the afterlife but I believe in you and my guardian angel.” I would say to them, “But you must believe in God as well because it’s God who has given you the guardian angel. It is God who has given you a soul.”’
It’s not just us regular folk who question the notion of a higher power.
‘One of the things I’m being asked lately by leaders of the different religions is, “Lorna, is God real?” And that has shocked me — I’m still shocked.
‘Of course God is real. I can’t prove it but I can tell you God is real. And I always tell people, “Don’t wait till the moment of death to discover that.” This is Christmas time and I would just ask everyone to open their hearts.’
Sometimes hearts and marriages are broken at Christmas.
‘You shouldn’t get divorced just because you had a stressful time over Christmas and you should say to yourself, “This Christmas, I’m not going to be stressed. I’m going to decorate the house with pleasure and joy with my family and whoever is there. If I have no family I’m going to invite others over. There’s only going to be a cup of tea and a biscuit. I’m not going to go to this great extravagance.” It’s not about extravagance.’
Lorna is sad that the word Christmas is increasingly replaced with politically correct terms like winter holiday.
‘I think we shouldn’t be taking the word Christmas out of it at all. It has been called that all along. Why should we change it? If we change it I bet in another couple of hundred years they’ll change it back to Christmas and they’ll say, “Why did we change it in the first place? Wasn’t that a silly idea because we wanted to be modern?”’
Lorna will celebrate Christmas at her home in Thomastown, Kilkenny, with three of her four children — her eldest son is working — and her four young grandchildren.
IDON’T get fussed because everyone helps,’ she says. ‘If you’re looking on it as a chore you’re missing out completely. Nobody expects just myself to do all the food. Even the grandchildren set the table.’
On Christmas Eve before bedtime the little ones squabble over who will put the baby Jesus in the crib — made using a painted shoebox, some crinkly paper, straw and animals from one of their farm sets.
‘Nothing has to look perfect,’ says Lorna. ‘Just have fun and remember that Christmas is about caring and sharing and making sure no one is lonely or on their own. We are given this opportunity to show our love and we must take it and not allow Christmas to be destroyed.
‘We bring back the spirit of Christmas by giving and not expecting anything in return.’