Why my eco trek just left me feeling a bit green

AT the risk of boring even myself, I’ll keep the festive cooking woes in the O’Reilly household to a minimum. Very briefly, it all began on December 23 when the microwave went kaput. I’d have reckoned we were due a few more years of service before we’d got our money’s worth, but perhaps we just used it too often. Anyway, panic stations set in. Suffice to say that I had to put on my most serious expression as I faced down my lady wife’s suggestion that we spend Christmas Eve trekking around some far-flung Harvey Norman outlet in search of a replacement.

It all worked out fine and we – and when I say ‘we’, I mean of course ‘she’ – got through the food preparation process on Christmas Day and beyond without a hitch.

But these things can’t be put off forever, of course, and that is how I recently found myself in a branch of Power City in some godforsaken industrial estate on the outer reaches of south Dublin.

To give her due credit, Mrs O knows this sort of thing isn’t exactly my strong point. But while some strapping youth would no doubt carry the new microwave to the car for her, she reckoned I’d need to be there to help dispose of the old one at the store’s recycling point.

Best as I could, I tried to explain that this wouldn’t be necessary. We live in a block of flats, after all, so I could discreetly turf the old oven into the communal bins and no-one would be any the wiser. I’ll cut to the chase by saying that she wasn’t having any of it.

It would be totally wrong on environmental grounds, she insisted, and that was the end of the argument. Power City, here we come.

Later that same day, I discussed the matter with a friend of mine over a much-needed pint of stout. It turned out that his missus makes him drive to the nearest municipal dump just to dispose of the miniature batteries used in TV remote controls and transistor radios.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love this old planet of ours as much as the next man. But given that we are receiving constant enviro-lectures from politicians and celebrities who spend their lives traversing the globe in fuel-guzzling private jets, should we really fret too much about throwing out a handful of used AAA batteries with the weekly rubbish?

It is well over five years since I last had reason to have a look at the Environmental Protection Agency’s website. Back then, I was checking it out after newly released statistics from Met Éireann indicated significant levels of climate change over the previous five decades.

Same as last time, I took the opportunity, over the weekend, to see what impact my own presence on Planet Earth is having on the environment. I clicked on one of the links provided to carbon footprint calculators and started answering the questions listed.

I’m not sure how the figures are arrived at, but we are told that the typical footprint in Ireland is 7.6 tonnes compared to around 11 tonnes in a fully fledged industrial country. Meanwhile, the global average is four tonnes and the target is to reduce that by half.

All I can tell you is that I didn’t even come anywhere towards reaching half a tonne.

This can probably be explained by the fact that I don’t drive a car or motorbike, have been on a grand total of six return long-haul flights in my entire life, only occasionally take short-haul flights, rarely use public transport, haven’t got a dishwasher and usually put the clothes out on the line rather than using the tumble dryer. Yet it seems even that isn’t enough for the eco-zealots. I was still faced with a separate link inviting me to examine ways ‘on how to reduce your carbon footprint’ even further.

Is nothing sufficient for these people? More to the point, do they not realise who the real villains of the piece are?

I’d have thought their attention should have been directed towards the jet-setting hypocrites like Leonardo DiCaprio.

Perhaps they’d be happier if the rest of us all cut back on breathing for a while.