NAMIBIA IS OUT OF THIS WORLD

HEAVENS ABOVE

A SINGLE security light can blot out a thousand stars. A line of street lamps can make a whole galaxy invisible. So, most people are today deprived of one of nature’s great free sights — the stars above.

Which is why star-gazing holidays are becoming ever more popular. You head to areas where light pollution is at a minimum. Desert areas are favourite, making the likes of Namibia very popular for starfaris.

The Namib Desert is dry, sparsely populated and cold at night, guaranteeing clear skies. This starkly beautiful landscape is home to the Sossusvlei Desert Lodge (sossusvlei.org).

You’ll never see the Milky Way look milkier than from the terrace of their fully equipped observatory, or even better, from the comfort of one of their bedrooms, through the helpfully placed star-viewing skylights above. If you want to see satellites, the odd meteor shower, or merely gaze at the Southern Cross, I recommend an early night.

Even if you know nothing about astronomy, you’ll at least learn to identify Ursa Minor. That’s the bear minimum. Oi!

UP IN THE AIR

THE world’s busiest international air routes – measured by number of flights – is the Kuala Lumpur to Singapore short hop. Four million people fly the route each year on over 30,000 flights.

Meanwhile, the busiest crossAtlantic airline continues to be Aer Arann Islands who fly from Galway, across the Atlantic Ocean, to the Aran Islands – up to a dozen times a day.

But if you don’t know the first thing about our islands it may be confusing: for instance Aer Arann Islands should not be confused with Aer Arann, now Stobart Air, and which never flew to the Aran Islands in the first place.

There again, Aer Arann Islands don’t fly to Aran Island, (aka Aranmore and Arranmore), because that’s off the coast of Donegal.

This should not be confused with the Isle of Arran, which lies in the Firth of Clyde.

So I hope that’s clear and I don’t mean ‘clear’ as in Clear Island, not to be confused with Clare Island – nowhere near Clare, nor even Claregalway for that matter.

To sum up, the planes of Aer Arann Islands fly to the Aran Islands, made up of Inishmore, Inishmaan, and Inisheer, in effect where the Old World comes to an abrupt halt.

But anything to do with these islands is pretty confusing – and don’t even get me started on my collection of Aran sweaters.

HANGING’S TOO GOOD FOR THEM

IT’S not easy getting it right at museums and art galleries. Some years ago New York’s Museum of Modern Art (MOMA) had a Matisse painting, Le Bateau, hanging upside down for six weeks.

A visitor finally noticed and gently informed the curator. 116,000 visitors had already filed past the painting at that point – it would be fair to say that none of them spotted anything amiss. That’s bad enough, but an art museum in the south of France has just had an even greater shock. The Etienne Terrus Museum near Perpignan has discovered that more than half of its paintings are fakes. The situation was uncovered after extensive renovation work. An art historian brought in to reorganise the collection noted that some of the 19th century paintings were on material not invented until a century later; on one the artist’s signature had been signed in something that looked suspiciously like a felt-tip pen. Up to 60% of local painter Etienne Terrus ‘originals’ were found to be bogus. I tell you what. I think I’ll check out the Ardagh Chalice in the National Museum in Dublin as part of the public service remit of this column. Just to make sure ‘Made in Taiwan’ isn’t stamped on the bottom.

NO FRILLS FLIGHT

WINGLY is the Airbnb of flying. The idea is to connect private pilots with passengers through the website https://en.wingly.io

If a pilot has free space and is going your way, then hop aboard – after paying a contribution towards the flight. The cost varies enormously, but is likely to compare favourably with train fares, though definitely not as cheap as a budget airline. But it does promise, if all goes well, a much more enriching experience.

First of all, you need to read the rules. These include the warning that the pilot is under no obligation to take off if conditions are not suitable. Seems reasonable.

DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING

DON’T try to sell your sandwiches to the other passengers at inflated prices. This isn’t a budget airline.

I’ve signed up to the aforementioned Wingly, and get a Daily Flight Alert. This tells me of any interesting offers; so far I’ve not actually made a flight. The latest carried the following details:

London to Waterford – aircraft: Beechcraft Bonanza (BE35) Departure date: flexible Price: £161 each way Pilot: Paul Paul’s flying time in this aircraft – 3 hours Total flying time – 284 hours I’m sure Paul will be fine, with his three hours flying experience, even though this is not substantially more than the amount of time I’ve spent learning to fly a Beechcraft Bonanza; that is to say, no time whatsoever.

To put it into context, an Aer Lingus or Ryanair pilot will fly some 1,000 hours a year – usually on one type of aircraft – so the average captain is likely to have logged more than 20,000 hours flying his dedicated aircraft.

I’ll keep you up to speed with any further offers I get. Or give it a go yourself and report back to this column. Yes, that’s the best idea. You get in touch with them and let me

know how it goes.

A DAY WITH NOBS ON

NOBBER Fair Day is being held this weekend, May 20. Like Ratass in Co. Kerry, Nobber usually raises a chuckle among the more immature. Which is a shame, because the Meath village is the reputed birthplace of Turlough O’Carolan.

But great harpist and composer though he was, even O’Carolan couldn’t manage to crowbar Nobber into a song.

Despite the fine Irish tradition of wedging the most unpromising place names into lyrics – Ballyjamesduff and Carrickfergus spring to mind – no space has ever been found for Nobber.

Nothing along the lines of ‘Oh Nobber boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling,’ nor any ‘My lovely rose of Nobber’.

And Dana would surely never have succeeded in the Eurovision if her song had been “All kinds of everything remind me of Nobber”.

So, enough sniggering down the back. Get yourself along to Nobber this Sunday, pay your respects to one of Irelands greatest musicians, and have a great day at the fair.