KINDFULNESS

FED up with ‘mindfulness’? Think ‘self-care’ has turned us into navel-gazers? Then you’ll be happy to hear the l atest buzzword is ‘ kindfulness’ — mindfulness’s more compassionate sister.

British physicist-turned-Buddhist-monk Ajahn Brahm is worried that most people’s take on mindfulness — being ‘present’ and aware of our inner thoughts — is making us too focused on ourselves. So he added kindness to the mix and came up with kindfulness. It might sound cringey, but the idea of finding fulfilment through treating yourself — and others — well has taken off. There are two more books on Kindfulness being published later this year.

Psychotherapist Padraig O’Morain, author of Kindfulness (published in June) believes the clamour for self-improvement is making us too harsh on ourselves.

‘Kindfulness is about being a friend to the person you are now, not putting it off until you become a perfect person, which for most of us never arrives,’ he says.

‘ If we’re kinder to ourselves, it will make us more able to turn those feelings towards others’.

In the book, he teaches a series of exercises that focus on accepting yourself with all your flaws. For example, try this three times a day: imagine someone you love is sitting in front of you and needs compassion. Close your eyes and try to generate those feelings.

Then say silently: ‘Be happy, be safe, be well.’ Stay with the feeling, then imagine their place is taken by you.

Kindfulness is part of the kindness revival that’s been gathering pace in the past year. There are 4.3 million posts on Instagram with the hashtag # kindness, which document small acts of compassion. Last month i ncluded i nternational # payitforward day, where people were challenged to complete three random acts of kindness.

ONLINEfundraising platforms are also booming. GoFundMe, where people post appeals online, has reported a 50% upturn in the past year. Recent cases include strangers giving a terminal cancer sufferer one last fishing trip and paying for a holiday for a disabled man who had been attacked in the street.

Bernadette Russell, author of The Little Book of Kindness (Orion, €11.20), believes it’s all a reaction to bleak world news. ‘ There’s a real yearning for positivity,’ she says. ‘People are saying: “I can’t do much about Syria, but I can check my elderly neighbour is OK for milk.” There’s an acknowledgment that small acts in our communities can make a difference.’

In 2011, Bernadette vowed to do something kind for a stranger every day for a year, and she documented it in her book.

Seven years on, she’s still doing it and says it has transformed her life: ‘You feel good because you’ve been good, and there’s nothing wrong with that.’

Campaigner Jaime Thurston thinks the kindness revival is also a reaction to the sense of

It’s the new twist on mindfulness — being consciously kind to others. The best thing? It’s good for YOU, too...

isolation that can come with living our lives online.

‘There’s a longing to connect, to feel fulfilled and be useful. That’s harder now we don’t live in communities so much and everyone feels they are too busy to do things.’

Jaime, author of Kindness: The Little Thing That Matters Most, set up her charity 52 Lives in 2013. Every week she highlights one person who needs help to more than 70,000 followers on Facebook. They’ve recently paid the deposit on a rented f l at f or a homeless woman, and planted a sensory garden for a disabled child.

Those 70,000 people aren’t just helping others — they’re doing good f or t hemselves, t oo. Research shows kindness benefits both physical and mental health, says Dr David Hamilton, author of The Five Side-Effects Of Kindness.

‘ Being kind generates the “kindness” hormone oxytocin, which also happens to be a major cardiovascular hormone,’ he says. ‘It keeps the arteries clear and lowers blood pressure by reducing levels of harmful free radicals and inflammation, which cause disease. These are also the main culprits f or causing ageing to our cells, so you could also say that kindness slows the ageing process.’

Kindness also appears to have an effect on the vagus nerve, which regulates the heartbeat and controls relaxation of our bodies. ‘A feeling of compassion seems to stimulate this system,’ says Dr Hamilton.

There are positive psychological effects of kindness, too, known as the ‘ helper’s high’. Studies show that volunteers experience a natural high — a release of the brain’s natural opiates and dopamine.

Best of all, kindness seems to be contagious. ‘ When we’re kind, we inspire others to be kind and it creates a ripple effect that spreads outwards to friends of friends of friends,’ says Dr Hamilton.

‘Whether you call it kindfulness or kindness, it has remarkable effects on body and mind. It’s essentially free medicine — what’s not to like?’