Think you know all the risks to children online? So did Kaye Adams ...until a stranger stalked her daughter

Children now spend more hours online than they do watching TV. For nine to 17-year-olds, most of that time is spent on social media

DANCING around her bedroom, miming to pop songs, my daughter was oblivious to who might be watching the videos she was posting online of her harmless fun. And until recently, to my shame, so was I.

It was only when Bonnie, then ten, started receiving increasingly keen messages from one viewer that alarm bells began ringing.

Complimenting her on her looks and talent, the fan — a stranger — begged her to attend a ‘user convention’.

Flattered, but unnerved, Bonnie was sensible enough to confide in me. I felt sick to my stomach.

For weeks, anyone could watch her videos. Worse, they could message her privately and might have worked out her location from clues such as her school uniform hanging on the door.

I shudder to think how easily she could have gone to that ‘convention’. As it was, we installed privacy settings and she never heard from the man again.

It was a wake-up call. Suddenly, I realised just how vulnerable our children are, so trusting that they don’t realise what information they are giving away.

They are being exposed to risks in ever more sophisticated ways — and can also fall prey to blackmail and identity theft. The internet can suck your child into danger in seconds.

Not long after Bonnie’s experience last year, our family had another brush with the dark side of the internet. It was when Snapchat — the social media app most beloved of teenagers — introduced Snap Map, a feature that allows users to track their friends’ whereabouts.

My elder daughter, Charley, then 14, joined, but I was blissfully ignorant of this until she went on a sleepover.

She had been gone an hour when my friend and colleague, TV presenter Nadia Sawalha, rang: ‘Do you know where Charley is?’ she asked. ‘Because I do.’

She had just learnt about Snap Map from her own 15-year-old daughter, Maddie. I was stunned as Nadia reeled off the exact address and the names of the other girls on the sleepover — all gleaned from Maddie’s phone.

While Maddie is a genuine friend, Charley had 2,500 other ‘friends’ on the site, most of them total strangers and all with access to her exact location. Anyone could stalk her. I disabled the app.

The experience made Nadia and me determined to learn about the dangers and to help other parents understand them.

That’s when we realised there are thousands of parents like us, eager to protect their children, but not sure about the dangers.

So we called in global security expert Will Geddes to help us write a guide for parents. Will has spent the past 25 years working beside the world’s best hackers, coders and programmers.

What I learnt from him terrified me. But I’ve also learnt that ignorance is no excuse. From the moment our children start using a computer, they should know not everyone online is friendly.

So, how can you protect your children? Here, WILL GEDDES explains some of the pitfalls . . .

HOW FAKE SNAPS CAN TRAP KIDS

I WAS recently called in by parents worried about their teenage daughter, who was secretly selling off her possessions.

The girl confessed she had been approached online by a stranger who had accessed her social media and created fake porn pictures of her.

He was threatening to send the photos to her schoolfriends and teachers unless she paid up.

I advised reporting the threat to the police. Extortionists are usually bluffers who target children as they are more likely to be intimidated by threats. When you don’t pay, they often just seek another victim.

But pay up and the demands will continue or increase and the victim may be lured into ever more compromising behaviour.

The family were shaken, but never heard another word.

Remind your child not to trust anyone on the internet. Unless you know them in the real world, they are strangers. Explain that they should never send a picture they wouldn’t want all their friends or family to see. Insist they never use a site that requires the use of a webcam.

BEWARE MASSIVE GAMES CHARGES

THOSE phone games might seem harmless fun, but they are big business. These days, game purchases make up 85 per cent of the €31billion global app market — and even free ones may have in-app purchases designed to squeeze money out of children. One Smurfs game involved selling baskets of berries to decorate the Smurfs’ village. The game was free — but the berries weren’t. One child ran up a bill of €1,300!

Don’t give your child’s phone or computer access to your bank account. Turn off one-click shopping on accounts such as Amazon and, if you let them use your phone, don’t save your credit card details.

WHY YOUR CHILD’S AN EASY TARGET

CRIMINALS know how heavily we rely on our computers, so a common trick is threatening to disable them unless you pay up.

Often, their gateway into your computer is your child, who may be less careful about clicking on suspicious links or images. So warn even very young children of the dangers of visiting websites to download free music, films or games. Many are packed with hidden viruses that could allow hackers to control your computer.

A new ‘malware’ scam — involving harmful files being sneaked on to your computer — emerges on the internet every 4.2 seconds.

It goes without saying that you should regularly update all your software and security settings.

Remind your child to back up their devices regularly, if they know how, or do it for them, either with an external hard drive you plug into your computer or using the cloud (a safe way to store data).

KEEP YOUR LOCATION HIDDEN

MOST phones have built-in tracking software — useful if they’re lost or stolen. But be wary of apps that transmit information about your location, such as Snap Map or Find My Friends. It’s safest to turn these off. Go into settings on your child’s device and, under the privacy menu, click the option to ‘disable location sharing’.

Alternatively, if it’s an app using your child’s location legitimately — such as a taxi or weather app — then consider clicking ‘only while using’. Explain to your child that they should fully shut down the app when it’s not in use.

DANGERS OF BUYING ONLINE

A CLIENT’S teenage son had used a ‘buy and sell’ app to purchase some jeans.

The friendly seller told him he could have loads more cut- price clothes, too, but they needed to communicate privately off the site via email. The boy was thrilled when the seller agreed to take second-hand tech in lieu of cash.

The seller duly arrived at my client’s house — at a pre-arranged time when she was out — and took her son’s iPhone, iPad and Mac. But surprise, surprise, the clothes never turned up. And the seller had used a false email address, so they couldn’t be traced.

Sadly, fraudsters thrive even on reputable marketplaces such as eBay — but following these simple rules should protect your child.

Above all, they should never communicate off-site and never meet in person without an adult. Ensure they ask questions. Does the photo show every angle of the product? Is the seller easy to contact or report through the site?

One boy thought he was buying a boxed PlayStation games console for €220. He was so excited, he didn’t question the listing title, which clearly stated: ‘Sony PlayStation brand new box.’ And that’s what he got — an empty box. As the listing was accurate, there was nothing he could do.

ALWAYS THINK BEFORE YOU CLICK

THE internet is awash with dodgy sites designed to filch banking and other personal details.

It is called ‘phishing’. Criminals place links in internet pages, emails or messages, often offering something free, but actually linking to sites where your child’s data — and yours — can be stolen.

Tell your child never to click on a link in a message or email unless they know the sender personally.

Help your child to spot the telltale signs. Phishing messages are usually urgent. There are often spelling mistakes. The sender’s name may be similar — but not identical — to a legitimate site.

If a suspicious page is already open on your computer and you can’t close it, shut your browser window immediately or restart the device completely.

Run anti-virus software to ensure the phishing message hasn’t left anything nasty, such as spyware, on your device.

Ensure your child shops only on secure sites with a locked padlock symbol (or ‘https’) at the start of the web address during checkout and payment.

WATCH OUT FOR WEIGHT-LOSS PILLS

UNSCRUPULOUS sellers target children and teens with advertising on social media for everything from fake perfume, weight-loss pills and teeth whiteners to illegal recreational drugs.

One mum recently approached me concerned because her 14-yearold son had started exercising excessively. He also had wild mood swings. When she checked his room, she found anabolic steroids he admitted to buying online.

Getting hold of these products online is scarily easy. They can be extremely dangerous in the wrong doses, or they may be counterfeit.

While a website may look professional, that doesn’t mean it’s reputable. Many online pharmacies purport to be based in Britain or the US, but are actually in Hong Kong, selling products from unregulated labs in China.

Tell your child they must never take medicines bought online.

HELP THEM COVER THEIR TRACKS

EVERYTHING your child uploads on social media potentially stays online for ever. Mostly it’s harmless, but 90 per cent of employers now check the ‘digital footprint’ of job applicants.

Meanwhile, companies are desperate to harvest data from your child in order to target them with adverts. They are also likely to sell this information on.

That’s why it’s vital not to overshare on social media and give only the minimum information on shopping sites and so on.

Check your child’s online privacy settings. Encourage them not to give their full name, date of birth or any optional information when setting up any online account. Use different usernames on different sites and use software called VPN, which can be downloaded from the internet, to conceal your location.

Avoid freebies, too: some huge privacy breaches come from children filling out innocuous-looking surveys or quizzes.