The one lesson I’ve learned from life

Denise van Outen

DENISE VAN OUTEN, 44, has been a star of stage and screen for 25 years. She lives with her eight-year-old daughter, Betsy, and boyfriend, Eddie Boxshall.

A PANIC ATTACK TOLD ME TO SLOW DOWN

AS WARNING signs go, it was a big one. I’ve always lived my life at 100miles per hour, taking on project after project. But earlier this year, I realised quite how overloaded I had become when I suffered a panic attack.

I’d been working really hard filming Loose Women and Ireland’s Got Talent, I was in the middle of a big house move with my boyfriend, Eddie, and my daughter wasn’t happy at her school. It all started to feel like it was too much. One weekend, I was supposed to be playing golf at a charity event organised by former rugby player Mike Tindall but as the day approached, I started feeling uneasy. Then, on the day, everything came crashing down. I was panicky, short of breath and paralysed.

I got as far as sitting in the car, dressed in my golf gear, but I realised I didn’t feel well enough to make the journey on my own. I felt like hiding away. I wondered whether I was having a breakdown. The whole experience was alien. When I composed myself enough to call my GP, he said he thought I’d had an anxiety attack, possibly due to a hormonal imbalance (this can make women more susceptible to them).

I was embarrassed that I’d let down the charity, but Mike was great about it. He just said: ‘I get it.’ As soon as I started talking about it with my friends and family, I felt better. I’ve even talked about it with my daughter, Betsy, and it has helped her to have a good chat about positive mental health, too. I’ve been single for half her life, which hasn’t always been easy for either of us.

I know I’m in a privileged position, but that doesn’t make me immune from the stresses of trying to do it all. This experience made me realise I had to prioritise my health. It’s been very liberating saying no to things from time to time — without feeling guilty.