Is it just ME?

Or do 50-plus women need help with swimwear?

WHEN news broke last week that a leading sports body had been offering women advice on how to look slimmer in their costumes, bossily advocating a ‘loose tankini instead of a bikini or one-piece’, and warning that bikinis ‘expose a jiggly belly’ and ‘trying to squeeze into a one-piece will not slim your stomach’, feminists were justifiably enraged. No one should be prescriptive about a person’s appearance.

However, I couldn’t help noticing that some of the advice given by Swim England was, er, rather useful. As a mid-life swimmer, there’s nothing worse than I once trod water for hours to avoid revealing my matronly M&S costume realising your plunge neck has, well, plunged.

Once, in LA, I had to tread water for three hours until all the gorgeous twentysomethings in micro-bikinis had left the poolside, as I couldn’t bear for them to see my matronly Marks & Spencer number.

At the age of 45, I decided to take back control. I shivered, half-naked, in changing rooms as stern female assistants made me try on 30 different styles till I grasped the Swimming Costume Rules (seriously, going for a bra fitting is a doddle in comparison).

I learned that fitted styles in dark colours, with a high Lycra content, low-cut leg and wide straps, could stop me feeling self-conscious.

My ultimate desert island swimming costume is the €173 Miraclesuit, a veritable feat of engineering. It’s streamlined, rather than mumsy: tactful shirring firmly holds your stomach in, while an underwire bra and adjustable shoulder straps offer support. You do wrestle to get into it — like Spanx for the beach — but it’s practical in the pool.

No one should ever body shame us. But, trust me, if you’re a 50-plus woman who actually swims, rather than posing in the shallow end, you need all the help you can get on the costume front.