I finally have my baby... 13 years after menopause
After IVF costing €68k, two miscarriages and three ectopic pregnancies, one woman’s dream comes true
BEAMING with joy, Marie Neal, 49, cradles the baby she never thought she would have. More than ten years ago, the legal secretary was told she had been through the menopause at 36 and would not be able to have children.
But after spending €68,000 and enduring nine rounds of IVF — including two miscarriages and three life-threatening ectopic pregnancies — she has confounded doctors who warned her not to risk trying again by giving birth to a daughter.
Essie arrived on August 10, weighing a healthy 7lb 13oz.
Marie said: ‘It has been such a long and emotional journey that, even now, I can’t quite believe I am finally a mum.’
Marie, who lives with her husband Dale, also 49, a hairdresser, added: ‘I keep looking at Essie and thinking this is just a wonderful dream. Dale and I are living in a baby bubble. We savour every special moment.’
The couple, who have been together for 12 years and married eight years ago, began trying for a baby in their late 30s.
They were devastated when after she failed to conceive, doctors said she had already gone through the menopause.
‘The consultant said I’d probably gone through it aged 36,’ she said. ‘I’d always imagined I’d have children, but it wasn’t until doctors told me I couldn’t have any that I realised how important having a family was. It was a terrible shock because with no more eggs, it meant I’d never have a biological child of my own.’
The couple decided to go ahead with IVF using a donor egg and Dale’s sperm. Marie said: ‘After reading how donor egg babies take in much of the pregnant mum’s DNA while growing in the womb, I felt happy about it.’
After a year waiting to be matched with a donor, at 42, they had their first IVF cycle, but it failed. Six months later, she became pregnant on a second IVF attempt. Devastatingly, at six weeks she miscarried. A third attempt also resulted in a pregnancy, but it was ectopic. ‘It was terrible knowing I was pregnant but the baby wouldn’t survive as it moved into the fallopian tube,’ Marie said.
A fourth attempt also resulted in another ectopic pregnancy, and a fifth attempt proved negative.
She said: ‘That was to be our final go. We had decided if we hadn’t had a baby by the age of 45, we would try to content ourselves with a life without children. I bought books about making a life without kids but, at the same time, friends were having babies.
‘I was so happy for them but, at the same time, I wanted to experience that joy myself. I couldn’t accept not being a mum.’
So in January 2015, the couple went to a clinic in Prague that Marie had researched online. Their first attempt there resulted in a positive test, but once again she had a miscarriage.
In July 2016, they tried again in Prague, but she experienced an ‘incredibly rare and dangerous’ type of ectopic pregnancy and had to have the embryo removed. Six months later, an eighth attempt proved negative. The clinic had some frozen embryos left from the Neals’ previous attempts and offered them a final IVF round for free — but it was still a difficult decision. Doctors warned it could be dangerous because of her age.
‘Yet I was still desperate,’ she said. ‘Forty-nine was the cut-off age for the clinic in Prague. I knew if I got to 50 that would be the end of the journey.’
The final attempt was successful. Marie said: ‘From the first scan to when she was born, it was a textbook pregnancy. I had a small, neat bump and felt great.’
Essie was born by caesarean section. ‘Everyone in the delivery room was in tears. Many of them knew what we’d gone through.
‘When we tot up how much it cost, it comes to over €68,000 but she was worth all the heartache and worth every cent.’