Hey, Saoirse – clear that space on the mantelpiece

IT might be St Stephen’s Day in these parts, but across the water, the day after Christmas Day was traditionally marked by re-boxing unwanted gifts and distributing them to the less well-off.

Presumably this year the Brits are too busy preparing food parcels for the difficult time ahead to bother with the custom (in any event, ‘custom’ is quite a dirty word over there at the moment), so I thought I’d take a quick nose into some celebrity stockings to see who doesn’t want what.

Leo Varadkar wants to return the voucher for dinner for two at the Cher concert next November.

Meghan Markle has no interest in the compendium of Happy Families card games gifted to her by her sister-inlaw, Kate Middleton.

Saoirse Ronan is happy to hand over her fake Oscar with ‘World’s Best Friend’ written on it that her parents got her to fill that hole on the mantelpiece.

Victoria Beckham has two tickets for The Spice Girls if anyone wants them.

Peter Casey has no use for that new caravan that appeared in his driveway.

Gerry Adams already has a full set of chef’s knives and has no further need for anything that might be misconstrued as a weapon.

Ruth Coppinger will return that Victoria’s Secret voucher that she put up her sleeve.

Jake Carter hasn’t yet decided what he wants to be when he grows up, so he doesn’t need any more dancing shoes.

Jamie Dornan will be returning his beard oil as he tries to scruff up his ‘I’m Too Sexy For My Part’ image.

Adam Clayton already has enough pairs of pyjamas – and he’s worn most of them to U2’s after-show parties.