Just like TV’s Mrs Wilson, I was betrayed
I AM sure that many people who watched the compelling TV drama Mrs Wilson were astonished that an intelligent woman could have been betrayed by a bigamist.
I would have thought the same – until it happened to me.
I am private school-educated and never thought I would be psychologically abused and humiliated by a man, but I was wrong.
After my marriage broke down, I focused on my children and career. And then I met someone when I least expected it. It was so exciting. He pursued me in a sweet, loving way and I finally let my guard down and let him into my heart and my children’s lives.
He was short, fat and rough around the edges, but he became my best friend and lover. He told me he had been dragged up on the wrong side of the tracks.
I didn’t care. He was loving, attentive and got on well with my family and friends. We texted each other 200 times a day and raced home to see each other.
But after two years, during which time I never met his children or any member of his family, I felt something had changed. He would suddenly disappear and be uncontactable. But every excuse he made sounded plausible.
When I was diagnosed with a serious health condition, he was my rock until I recovered. I was so excited when he finally invited me to join him on a holiday to meet his family. But as the departure date grew nearer, he was on edge and disappearing more and more.
He was vague when I asked about the hotel and flights. Finally, he said his children couldn’t cope with me coming on holiday so he would have to go without me.
So imagine how shocked I was when a friend sent me details on social media of my partner with another woman on holiday. When I confronted him on his return, he told me she was a family friend and that though he had told me he was a lodger at a friend’s house, in fact he had a landlady.
He declared his love for me and swore nothing was happening with this woman.
But I couldn’t ignore my gut feeling about his disappearing acts. I started to question my sanity. I couldn’t eat or sleep. If I asked too many questions, he would kiss me and tell me he loved me.
He proposed, and we planned to get married with our children and close family and friends. But then he told me his former wife was fighting the divorce so no definite date could be arranged.
Three years after we met, I was expecting a typical Friday night watching a movie together when my world came crashing down. His so-called landlady turned up on my doorstep and told me she had been my partner’s lover for 19 months. She also told me he was still sleeping with his ex-wife.
I had thought he was a wonderful dad who would always drop everything to help his vulnerable former wife who had depression.
How can someone live two lives and sleep with three women, betraying us all and our children?
When I confronted him with the truth, he left me, with no apology.
Name and address supplied.
Thank you, Sallyanne
WHAT a delightful article by Sallyanne Clarke this St Stephen’s Day (Mail). It seems like she had a magical Christmas in Mayo and it was a pleasure to read about.
Sallyanne’s insight into the wren tradition was very interesting. I, for one, totally agree with her and would so like to see it reinstated throughout the country. What a shame our childhood associations with Christmas are dying out.
EILEEN HANLEY, by email.
A world without ‘please’
MANY people received voiceactivated devices such as Alexa and Amazon Echo as Christmas gifts. The proliferation of virtual assistants seems unstoppable.
It’s worth thinking about children who will grow up in a world where blunt commands result in getting whatever is wanted: ‘Alexa, play music,’/‘Alexa, remind me…,’ /‘Alexa, order more cat food.’
How long before they start adopting this approach: ‘Mum, get me a burger’; ‘Dad, get me that toy.’
Would it have been too hard for the developers of these systems to preface commands and requests with the requirement to say ‘please’?