Le cheek of it!
Mon dieu! A notorious French intellectual poseur has declared that women over 50 are too old to love. Cue outrage, protest — and from our brilliant writers, hilarious, heartfelt (and often very surprising) ripostes...
CAN a woman over 50 really be ‘too old to love’? French author Yann Moix, 50 years old himself, caused a furore when he said: ‘I prefer younger women’s bodies, that’s all. The body of a 25-year-old woman is extraordinary. The body of a woman of 50 is not extraordinary at all.’
The comments sparked an angry backlash, with one critic telling him: ‘Romance is not about the firmness of the buttocks.’ So is he guilty of a gross generalisation — or just telling an unpalatable truth? Our experts decide . . .
HE’S TRYING TO TELL US HE STILL HAS LEAD IN HIS PROPELLING PENCIL Quentin Letts, 55, married to Lois, 53
YANN MOIX, himself no oil painting, announces with a Gallic chauvinist shrug that he could not love a woman older than 50 (his own age). You have to wonder if this bloke’s books are up to much. What sort of author judges beauty solely by age?
You do not have to go to the extreme examples of Beauty And The Beast to grasp that true love transcends the physical.
Charm is so obviously more than skin-deep. The sparkle of amusement in a familiar gaze, the connection of shared laughter, the memories of that delicious supper in the South of France when you were both much younger: these are the things of real love. The years you spend rearing your children, the generous trouble you took over one another’s ageing parents, the times you held each other in grief: such breeze-blocks of love cannot exist for someone who declares that he can ‘only love’ a younger model.
Dirty old Monsieur Moix is presumably talking about basic sex rather than love. Is he trying to persuade us he still has some lead in his propelling pencil?
It is hard to believe that any man over 50 can be entirely confident of his performance on hopping into bed with a much younger mademoiselle. What is the French for ‘Sorry, that’s never happened to me before’?
A few weeks short of my 56th birthday, I doubt I could now love a woman younger than 50. What would you talk to her about? Apps? Brands of chewing gum?
My wife Lois recently turned 53 and becomes only lovelier by the day. That’s not just soppiness. Nor is it diplomacy. I mean it.
I love her despite, or maybe because of, her quirks, her dimples, her dents and her battle scars. I love her even for those fluffy red bedsocks she insists on wearing. Yawnsome Yann Moix is as shallow as a saucer.
THEY WILL TREAT US LIKE OBJECTS — IF WE LET THEM Olivia Fane, 59, married with four sons
MONSIEUR MOIX is just being honest — as a writer/producer/director he’ll get his pick of the chicks, and in our society, where love and sexual desire are so conflated, what is he doing wrong in stating the obvious?
Nonetheless, it’s a rather painful truth if we don’t happen to be ageing as gracefully as, say, Jennifer Aniston. If he could award women Michelin stars, he’d be doing so, and can we blame him? Women are obviously offering themselves to him on a plate.
The most tragic aspect of all, though, is not his perfectly reasonable male point of view (biologically speaking, his hypothalamus is lodged just behind his optic nerve, which sends a message to his pituitary gland, which sends a further message to his nether regions.)
No, the most tragic thing is the response of women over 50, which should have been: ‘For God’s sake, there’s more to life than sex with a nubile body, you must be a pretty lonely sod.’ Instead it was along the lines of: ‘Look at my buttocks, too! Look what you’re missing!’
For as long as we women play the role of being objects, we’ll be treated like them.
MY DATING RULE? NEVER PURSUE A YOUNGER WOMAN Cosmo Landesman, 64, single
WHEN it comes to the search for love I have only one steadfast rule: never pursue younger women.
By that I mean any woman under 40. Why? There’s something suspicious about older men who will only look at younger women. That man is not looking for love; he’s looking to impress other men by having a younger woman on his arm.
My no-young-women rule is easy to keep for one simple reason. I find older women, and yes over 50s, too, to be more attractive.
They tend to be better in the art of conversation and the art of lovemaking, too. One recent lover of mine was 64. Let’s just say I still have a smile on my face — and that was three months ago!
Younger male friends like to mock my love of older women, pointing out that a man of my age would say that, wouldn’t he? But it’s not true. Even when I was young, I was attracted to older women.
My first older love was when I was 20 and she was 38. She looked like an older Carly Simon, she kissed like a teenager and talked like a brilliant English Lit teacher, which she was.
In our youth-obsessed culture, no one ever talks about the obvious fact that many women take on a new level of beauty after their 50s. Look at Helen Mirren. In her 20s she was just another pretty blonde actress — at 73 she’s a great iconic beauty.
Yes, I love the lines around an older woman’s eyes and the grey in her hair. But it’s the confidence that comes with not caring about looks and the petty things in life that makes an older woman such wonderful company.
LIKE CARS — MEN ALWAYS WANT A YOUNGER MODEL Benjamin Slade, 72, single
THERE’S nothing wrong with women over 50. I have a lovely girlfriend of 57 who has 18 racehorses and wants to marry; I took one, who is nearly 60, on holiday to Mustique and we had a wonderful time.
I love all my older girlfriends to bits and we have great fun. But I can see what this chap’s getting at. If you can date a 40-year-old, do — they are better than the 50-year-olds.
For men, attraction is very visible. For women, it’s the brain — and they are interested in money, power, success, sex. It’s a big problem.
We chaps are horribly shallow, we go for looks and beauty.
It’s like getting a car. Old cars are like old women: you don’t stamp on the brakes too hard, you don’t put your foot on the accelerator too fast, you’ve got to be steady on the clutch because they are getting on a bit.
When M. Moix says the body of a younger woman is extraordinary, he’s right. We hear all about aphrodisiacs, eating oysters, ways to boost the libido
Of course, my problem is very different from this French chap. I need a younger woman because I need to produce heirs. I own two stately homes and a thriving wedding business, but despite one marriage and several failed relationships — I’m the worst judge of women — I’ve no male heirs to take over.
That’s why I’m looking for a woman aged between 30 and 40, because once they get older than that it becomes much more difficult to produce progeny. And after 40, if they haven’t been married at some stage, they go slightly mad.
When a woman gets to 50, or even 45, they are not going to be able to work so hard, which is vital for me. Managing staff, gardens and a social life, women have to be in control, it’s what they call in France being a chatelaine; they run the show.
This French guy probably just wants a bonk while I’m looking for a meaningful relationship.
WOMEN OF 50 ARE IN BETTER SHAPE THAN MEN OF 50 David Thomas, 59, divorced
IT TAKES a Frenchman to combine lechery with stupidity and pass it off as sophistication. And this one could not be more misguided.
I make no claims to be a Casanova, but I have some experience of 50something women as both lovers and dear friends, and I regard them as pretty much the finest manifestation of the species ‘homo sapiens’.
For a start, they tend to be in much better shape than their male contemporaries so the idea that women lose their physical charms is nonsense. But being more aware of human frailty, they are much more forgiving of men’s lack of perfection than a younger woman might be.
They are also more confident. A woman of 50 knows what she likes and does not like and is perfectly capable of passing that knowledge on. This makes for much happier times in bed since she does not expect her man to be a mind-reader. Likewise, she knows a lot more about men. All in all, two people in their 50s don’t need any lessons from the young in how to have great sex.
Above all, it’s more relaxing to be with someone to whom the 1980s, 1970s, or even 1960s, were a part of their lives, not ancient history.
Women in their 50s seem as baffled as their male peers by the raging over-sensitivity of their daughters’ generation. They do not regard flirtation as a form of sexual abuse. They still have a working sense of humour. And they are more than capable of coping with anything any average man can throw at them.
MY HUBBY IS 17 YEARS YOUNGER AND HAS NO COMPLAINTS Bel Mooney, 72, married to Robin, 55
ZUT ALORS! The Frenchman with
designer stubble stares moodily into the distance and says it is impossible to love a women over 50. Mon dieu, mes miserables soeurs, we are ‘too old’! Seriously, my verbal response to Yann Moix’s cheap, tacky sexism was rudely Anglo Saxon.
Moix defends himself by saying he is merely telling the truth — and it’s not his fault if he doesn’t fancy women his own age. That old trick tries to turn a nasty attitude into a virtue by calling it ‘honest’. Just try it with race and see if it works.
At 72, I’d be lying if I said that an ageing face and body doesn’t bother me at all. Of course it does; like many women I mourn the loss of firm, smooth beauty.
But I happen to be married to a wonderful man 17 years my junior who dismisses all such preoccupations as trivial nonsense. If I moan about wrinkles and rumples he just shrugs: ‘I’ve got them, too.’
Our relationship is centred on mutual respect and friendship as well as love — deep feelings that give life meaning.
As the Mail’s advice columnist, I’ve received letters from older men who just don’t fancy their wives any more — and I know what those unloved women feel, because they write, too.
Reduce human relationships to superficial ideas of attractiveness and what remains is only sadness, a tragic, soulless emptiness where love should be.
Yann Moix is a woman-hater who reduces human relationships to the flesh, as if the only thing that matters in life is sex. A horrible picture comes to my mind (and I wish it wouldn’t) of him inspecting a lady’s naked body, counting the wrinkles, noticing a bit of cellulite — and giving her marching orders, shouting, ‘Next!’
Well, this I can promise him: he’s going to be a very lonely old man. One day a young woman he’s chasing will see a manky, randy old geezer and cry: ‘Merde! Non!’
THIS POOR FOOL IS CONFUSING LOVE WITH SEX Brian Viner, 57, married to Jane, 56
RATHER than feeling contempt for this absurd, attention-seeking fool, I feel pity. He talks about love without having the slightest idea what the word means. He is so emotionally stunted he confuses it with sex.
At 50, he can’t countenance the idea of sleeping with women born in the 1960s, like him, greatly preferring the firm bodies of those half his age. Poor, poor fellow. For not only will he be forever denied the myriad cerebral and social pleasures of a long-term relationship, let me break it to him that he is also missing out in bed.
This week, my wife Jane and I celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary. I wouldn’t want to embarrass our grown-up children, but let’s just say that the fireworks get more satisfying as you move from the whizzing, slightly dangerous Catherine wheel phase into the steady Roman Candle years.
Moreover, I find her just as alluring now as I did when we met in our 20s.
All our shared experiences, our mutual familiarity, only heighten her sex appeal. That’s not to say that I don’t appreciate other women, but they are women of my generation. Women old enough to remember Bohemian Rhapsody first time round.
As for this idiot’s firmer bodies argument, that doesn’t bear scrutiny. After all, he is a compatriot of Catherine Deneuve, who in her 50s was far lovelier than almost all women in their 20s.
And of 65-year-old Brigitte Macron, decades older than her husband, who is by common consent the sexiest ‘First Lady’ France has ever had.
BRIGITTE MACRON BRIGHTENS UP ANY NEWS Christy Campbell, 67, married to Clare, 65
WHAT arrogant Gallic tosh! As an older gent, I can report that the pool of females in which one might take an interest widens with each passing year.
All women are interesting — 70-year-old women are interesting. But unlike M. Pretentious Moi, I am not considering them as potential sexual objects. I like their company and conversation. The eye contact (fleeting) in a train carriage, the little coo of mutual world-weariness at the supermarket check-out.
The firmness of their buttocks doesn’t come into it. And, hopefully, nor do one’s own.
Women stopped making eye contact with me in public when I passed 40. But I gave up on all that years ago.
I am, however, hugely interested in female aesthetics and delight in pictures of ageing daytime TV presenters, 1970s actresses and models.
And I am sure I am not alone in admitting that Amber Rudd and Brigitte Macron brighten up the dullest Brexit coverage.
Reduce homan relationships to superficial ideas of attractiveness and what remains is only sadness