Bombshells we didn’t tell our husbands until AFTER the wedding!
GETTING married marks a commitment to share everything about yourself with your loved one — for better and for worse.
And most of us, by the time we walk up the aisle, like to think we can be fairly confident we know everything important there is to know about our partner, and they about us.
But what if you had a secret so big you couldn’t bear to share it, even with the love of your life?
Here, SAMANTHA BRICK talks to five women who didn’t tell their husbands their biggest secrets — from bankruptcy to plastic surgery jobs — until after they’d tied the knot. So what did their other halves have to say?
EX-HUSBANDS’ DEATHS CAUSED MY ANXIETY
BEAUTICIAN Jackie Walker, 50, is married to David, 48, an electrician. Jackie says:
I BEGAN suffering from panic attacks eight years ago. I had split from my second husband in 2010, and two years later, sadly, he committed suicide. Five months later, my first husband, the father of my three children, also died — from natural causes. Afterwards, I had a nervous breakdown.
I couldn’t bear to be home alone. I had this awful sensation of being unable to breathe, as though I was drowning. I couldn’t watch TV or even make a cup of tea and had to keep the windows and doors open.
I tried to ‘fix’ the problem by walking the dog or seeing friends, but nothing helped.
My GP prescribed anti-depressants. But eventually, I decided to come off them and overhaul my life. I was determined to conquer the panic attacks, and so I learned to meditate.
When I met David, he was so calming to be around, completely different to my former husbands.
He proposed three months after our first date. When he got down on one knee in a restaurant, I didn’t think to explain my mental health issues. I couldn’t ruin the moment by telling him that my previous husbands had both died a year earlier.
We married in 2014. It was a wonderful day. But a year later I decided to tell him about my panic attacks and that I suffered from them because my exes had died. I had no choice — not knowing meant David couldn’t understand when I was having ‘down days’.
Now he’s very supportive, although there was a ‘you’re the black widow’ joke at one point in an attempt to lighten the mood!
I still get panic attacks, but I recognise them now. Mentally and emotionally, I’m in a much better place to deal with them, too.
Having told David makes everything easier. He’s very reassuring and gives me the support I need. DAVID SAYS: When I found out about Jackie’s anxiety attacks I took it in my stride. I wasn’t shocked that she hadn’t told me her two former husbands were dead; I just wanted to help her. She meditates when she has an episode and this helps her control them.
If I’d known about her mental health issues, I would still have gone into the relationship. I have no regrets.
I SENSE FAIRIES AND DEAD LOVED ONES
SPIRITUAL PR company owner and Reiki master Sarah Lloyd, 42, is married to Karl, 40, a CAD draughtsman. They live with their daughters Lucy, five, and Amy, three. Sarah says: I BECAME aware I had psychic abilities aged six. I felt a constant presence — like there was someone in the room with me.
My gift meant I never fitted in. I always knew when something was wrong with one of my friends — I’d get this ‘feeling’. But I was teased for being ‘weird’, so I tried to suppress my gift. And, eventually, it went away altogether.
Karl and I met in 2009 at a mutual friend’s wedding, and married in 2014. We were clear from the outset about not hiding things from each other. But as my gift was firmly ‘off’, I didn’t think to mention it.
When my younger daughter was born a year later I was exhausted. At my lowest point, I was surviving on three hours’ sleep.
One night, an angel appeared and wrapped me in his wings. I was scared and intrigued. It was like the real me was coming through again but there was still some blockage.
By 2016, I’d gone back to work at a large technology firm and was taking antidepressants to cope. I knew the absence of my gift was the reason my life wasn’t going the way I’d envisaged, so I saw an energy healer who helped me see another path.
It was as though she had turned a light on inside me.
In 2017, I booked a retreat in Glastonbury to tune my skills and decided to reveal my secret to Karl.
At first he was astounded, and asked what on earth was going on. I confessed this was my calling, but I’d been too frightened to tell him. After the initial shock wore off, he took it well.
The retreat marked a turning point for me. I could share things I knew wouldn’t be laughed at, such as seeing Archangel Michael standing over me with a flaming sword, or picking up the scent of a dead loved one.
Afterwards, I left my corporate job. I’m now an energy worker and use my ‘gift’ in my PR business.
Today, I hone my abilities through daily meditation. I connect with fairies in the woods nearby and call in my guides every evening to help clear negative energy. I can’t imagine ever burying my abilities again. I’m finally my true self and I’ve never been happier. KARL SAYS: When we first met, Sarah never truly seemed content; she was clearly searching for fulfilment.
At the time, I suspected there was more going on than met the eye, although I couldn’t understand why she felt the need to visit psychics.
When she told me the truth about her abilities, though, I was surprised.
I think I handled it well — by then, I knew Sarah well enough to know she was somewhat quirky. If anything, this explained a lot.
Today I’m happy that Sarah’s happy. In her old job she was stressed and dissatisfied. Being her true self means she has more time and patience for the family. I’m extremely proud of her — it takes huge courage to do what she has done.
I HID MY TWO NOSE JOBS FOR 11 YEARS
ARCHITECT Farnaz Ebrahimi, 36, is married to Darius, 38, a car bodyworker. They live with their sons, Nicholas, two, and four-month-old Alexander. Farnaz says: I WAS born with a large Roman nose that dominated my face. As a child, I’d spend hours applying make-up in an attempt to make it appear smaller. I had incredibly low self-esteem; just glancing at my profile would get me down.
At 17, I decided to have a nose job. However, because my body was still developing, the surgeon was very cautious, and the nose he gave me just wasn’t small enough.
At 19, I underwent a second procedure. I’ve easily spent €6,000 on my face. It was incredibly painful, but my face was transformed and finally I blossomed. By the time I met Darius, when I was 21, I