Walk away! This relationship is over

DOM SAYS:

IT SEEMS rather apt to say: ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ — for that’s what I think this is. You are not mourning, no, but make no mistake about it, you have lost your friend.

Her behaviour is wrong on so many levels that I find it offensive. She clearly has problems at home. We don’t know what they are, but it doesn’t really matter. What matters is her actions. For not only has she cheated on her husband; by dragging you into it, she’s cheated you out of your friendship, too.

She has obviously jeopardised her relationship with her husband, but also with your husband and with you. You say you haven’t told your husband yet, so now she’s jeopardising your marriage, too!

She has made you complicit despite the fact you don’t condone her affair. It’s deeply, deeply unfair of her.

When this affair ends — which it will, because they do — the fallout won’t just affect her. My fear is that you will end up tainted by her actions, whether you deserve it or not.

By pulling you into this web of deceit, your so-called friend has done you a great disservice.

My advice is straightforward: you have to distance yourself from her, and you have to do it now. Be frank with her. Why should you spare her feelings when she so clearly hasn’t considered yours?

Tell her that until she ends her affair, or, indeed, leaves her husband — which is to say ends the deception — you cannot have anything more to do with her. Then tell your own husband why you won’t be socialising together. Walk away and, I’m sorry to say, you should probably not look back. I don’t think your friend will.

I think that, whatever the outcome for her, she will probably soon wish to put the whole sorry episode behind her — and I suspect that you, too, will become part of an uncomfortable memory.

She’s making you lie; and if, like me, you wouldn’t lie for yourself, then why on earth would you do so for someone else? What she has done to you is very unkind and I really do feel for you. Turn to your other, faithful friends (including your husband!) for support.

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