Putrid French help soothe Irish nerves
Schmidt’s men floor rope-a-dope visitors
EVERYONE will feel a lot better after that. Well, everyone except the French.
You had to feel sympathy for their supporters, on an afternoon when the only contest the visitors claimed was in the stands.
Not that they had much to cheer about, particularly in the first half when their team dragged the term ‘abject’ down to a whole new level. Nonetheless, the French fans won this European song contest conclusively, regularly breaking into La Marseillaise while the Irish only managed one, rather circumspect, version of The Fields
of Athenry in response. They needed something to warm them up on a Baltic afternoon in Lansdowne because Jacques Brunel’s pitiful side brought zero heat — their body language from the off suggesting this contest was over before it had properly begun.
France are infuriating in this mood and part of this anger stems from once again falling into the trap of believing they might actually suit up and bring some bite away from home.
Not a bit of it. This might not have been quite as calamitous a showing as their wretched display in Twickenham (possibly because Ireland weren’t as ruthlessly efficient as the English) but it was not far off.
France improved in the second period but it felt like Ireland allowed them to — as if they realised the importance of some tackling practice before heading to Cardiff on a Grand Slam-ruining mission next weekend.
But in the first period, the French were on the Oliver Twist side of poor, almost instantly flopping into rope-a-dope lethargy and, on the rare occasions they did have the ball, faffing and flouncing about with all the energy of a soggy garage jambon.
Within this collective collapse, there were individuals jostling for position in the hall of shame, led by giant second row Sebastien Vahaamahina - the most useless lump seen in Dublin 4 since the stable boys last had their shovels out at the RDS horse show.
And then there was Mathieu Bastareaud. With his long mop making him look like a retired musketeer who has been overindulging on mutton and merlot, the enormous French centre is hard to take seriously in the professional era.
He did have a hand in denying Ireland a couple of tries but Bastareaud is trading on past, intermittent, glories and surely it is time for big Matt to call it adieu.
He should take No8 Louis Picamoles with him. The man they call ‘The Iceberg’ (for the bulk he carries down low) is well melted at this stage, while perhaps the biggest disappointment on a day packed with them from a Gallic perspective, was the complete no-show of gifted centre Gael Fickou.
But enough about France — their fortunes are not Ireland’s concern and Ireland’s fortunes took a notable turn for the better yesterday.
Even allowing for the awfulness of France, Ireland were far more cohesive and focused than previously and there was a reversion to the tried and trusted methods that had proved so fruitful over the last 18 months.
The efficiently organised maul that sent Rory Best over for an early try was the perfect nervesettler and then Schmidt’s men produced an old reliable from their Greatest Hits album for their second.
There was something comforting seeing that slick wraparound move that sent Johnny Sexton scooting over for his first Test try since the World Cup win over Canada four years ago.
Indeed, after a difficult championship, there was comfort also in the out-half ’s overall performance, and in the improved display of Conor Murray on his inside — although the scrum-half could be accused of failing to exploit some inviting scoring opportunities.
As could Ireland in a game they could, and probably should, have won by 40.
But there were mitigating factors there, not least the need to address some key World Cup questions and, thankfully, Ireland are finally getting some answers.
Rob Kearney’s late withdrawal allowed Jordan Larmour to audition impressively for the full-back understudy role while Schmidt’s sensible decision to empty his bench after Keith Earls wrapped up the bonus point on 56 minutes was equally useful.
As well as acknowledging the need to manage the six-day turnaround before Wales, it was also a significant nod towards Japan and the benefits for half-backs Jack Carty and John Cooney, who both impressed in their cameos, are significant.
So, a good day all round for Ireland, and one that leaves Schmidt and his squad in a better place for immediate, and future, assignments — starting in Cardiff next Saturday.
As for the French? Pffrrrrrttttt….