The one lesson I’ve learned from life
ACTOR Robert Bathurst, 63, is best known for his role as David Marsden in TV drama Cold Feet. As a child he lived for some time with his family in Ballybrack, Co Dublin and went to school in Killiney. He lives in Sussex with his wife Victoria.
ALWAYS TREAT PEOPLE WITH DIGNITY
AFTER the Second World War, my mother-in-law had two suitors. One, my father-in-law, whom I’m glad she eventually married, and another man she liked. She had to choose between them, and she rejected the other guy on the grounds he was rude to waiters.
You can tell a lot from the way people behave with strangers whose job it is not to answer back.
When you’re on set filming, some people are rude to make-up artists, assistant directors, people who have no power in the set-up. When I was an understudy at London’s National Theatre, one person who had a lot of power was foul and dismissive of me. I thought: ‘That’s not how to behave.’ I encountered them ten years later when they saw another show I was playing a big part in and they greeted me like an old friend. I walked straight past.
I love bumping into strangers and hearing their stories, but I think it helps that I grew up in Ireland where they do casual encounters so much better. English people are worried that if they talk to someone for more than five minutes they’ll have to send them a Christmas card.
If you need to pass the time in a queue, find out who the person next to you is. Keep clear of the weather and don’t ask after their children.
Instead, find something fun and interesting to say. I have a habit of asking presumptuous questions rather than exchanging platitudes, which gets me into trouble but sometimes strikes the bullseye.
Recently someone said to me: ‘I should be watching my son play football.’ I replied: ‘So you’re having a morning off from abusing the ref?’
His face clouded over. ‘How did you know about that?’ he asked. He had obviously got into trouble before for screaming at the ref. It was like hitting the triple 20 — I’d got to the heart of what he was about. It’s high-risk but I quite enjoy that!