ALMOST HUMAN!
Golf makes strange return to our screens
SO live sport, of a sort, has returned. No sooner had the teenage sensation Erling Haaland picked up where he left off when the sporting world was brought to a grinding halt – showing off his dancing skills to an empty stadium – than the armchair sports fan was transported to the Florida glades where Rory McIlroy and Rickie Fowler were showing off their legs.
Apparently, the wearing of shorts is forbidden by the PGA Tour, so McIlroy, Fowler, Dustin Johnson and Matthew Wolff all availed of the opportunity presented to them by their charity skins games to display their more casual side.
When the suggestion was first raised about all sports going behind closed doors, we felt golf could be the one game that would be instantly improved – at least for those of us watching at home. No longer would our ears be subjected to a shrill American voice, idiotically roaring: ‘Get in the hole!’
And the hope was that we might get to hear what golfers say to each other during a round. If last Sunday was anything to go by, that will end up being a disappointment. Trash-talking was kept at a minimum, perhaps the best moment on that front came when Wolff hit a wayward drive and McIlroy yelped; ‘Hey Matt, thanks for doing your part to social distance.’
To fill the empty airtime, NBC interviewed Bill Murray during the broadcast. ‘They look almost human,’ the comic actor noted at one stage, possibly referring to all the players being in shorts and tee-shirts.
The quality of play decreased noticeably during the latter part of the round so, after his daily dose of hydroxychloroquine, a bored Donald Trump rang up the host, and his one-time golfing partner, Mike Tirico.
The US President bluffed his way through a wide range of topics, including coronavirus and the state of the American economy.
Tirico brought his golfing buddy back to the game he is supposed to love and the relationship that Trump has with various players, not least McIlroy, who had said he would be unlikely to play with the American President if invited again.
‘A lot of Tour pros are very political, actually. Some like my politics very much and probably some don’t. I guess the ones that don’t I don’t get to see as much, but they seem to like it,’ the world’s most famous con man said, before predicting there are Major championships to come for Fowler, as those of us who have been backing the Californian since 2016 also believe. Having something in common with Trump is an unnerving experience.
In a bit of serendipity when it comes to scheduling, Eir Sport are currently re-running the docuseries, Tyson: Raw and Uncut, which chronicles the early years of the fighter’s career, when he was a frightening human specimen, bulldozing his way through the heavyweight division.
In the context of the sad, but somewhat inevitable, announcement that a 53-year-old, whitebearded Tyson was making a comeback, this show makes for interesting viewing.
Before he was convicted of rape, before the decline that culminated in feasting on Evander Holyfield’s ear-lobe, Tyson was a compelling character, with little clue in his softly-spoken interviews of what lay beneath. In one of his early fights, he even shows some concern for his opponent, Sammy Scaff, after his nose and face is shattered by one of those famous, explosive left hooks.
All a little different to the Tyson the world would come to know, for whom a return to the ring at 53 seems in keeping with everything that has gone before.