He’s right, they might never leave

DOM SAYS:

I’M DELIGHTED to hear your daughter and her husband are buying a new home — what an exciting time for you all. This should be a happy and proud moment for all the family, so why on Earth would your husband have said no?

Maybe the difficulty is his sonin-law — perhaps he rubs along with him perfectly well at the occasional lunch, but doesn’t want to bump into him in the middle of the night.

Or he may well feel that having got to a certain age he doesn’t want or need to spend his time — or space — with anyone else.

I’m sure he loves his daughter unconditionally, but maybe he doesn’t want to live with her. After all, they are talking about four to six weeks and that’s a long time to put up with anyone, even someone we love.

Anyway, you’ve been told they will stay for four to six weeks, but they’re looking to move into a brand-new house. And by brand-new, I assume you mean ‘not finished yet’. And we all know that builders are never on time, ditto house sales. It’s highly likely their ‘four to six weeks’ will become six to eight, or even 12 weeks.

So, I’m not so sure, after all, that your husband is being unreasonable.

But while I understand his perspective, I understand yours, too, and, for the record, I would want to do exactly the same thing as you.

However, my advice is to present a united front and side with your husband.

If he feels that strongly about it, then chances are, if your daughter and her husband did come to stay, the relationship would end up being damaged.

But you must help your daughter, too. I think the way to do this would be to help her renegotiate the terms of her move. Chains are hideous, but dates are not always set in stone.

Perhaps your daughter and her husband could renegotiate and either tweak their price up to include a modest sum to cover a rental, or rearrange their moving date with the buyer.

This would be the sensible thing to do — it protects everyone’s relationship. Weeks on end living with the parents is often enough to drive people to do strange things.

Listen to your husband and try to make sure you fully understand that his reason may be to avoid arguments and protect his family.

Unwanted guests can be a bomb blast that ruins everything. Try to go for a less emotional solution to the problem.

IF YOU have a question you’d like Steph and Dom to tackle, write to: features@dailymail.ie