I’M LONELIER THAN EVER RIGHT NOW

DEAR Bel,

LOCKDOWN had many advantages, because at least I felt that, although on my own, I was ‘not alone’, if you see what I mean. We were all in it together.

Nobody could do anything, go anywhere or have visitors. FaceTime, Zoom or the phone and TV was the most we could aspire to.

But now I see pictures of people on beaches, in garden centres, popping to see friends, driving to visit family, having picnics in the park and visits to second homes. And I’m beginning to feel lonely again. I’m nervous of driving anywhere.

I feel that easing lockdown is creating even more of a ‘them and us’ situation. Those prepared to take risks and those (like me) who think nothing has changed — except that with new cases every day perhaps the danger is greater. And as I am on my own that is brought home to me even more. What are your views?

SAM

THERE can be no doubt that the current situation is strange and hard for many, many people. In comparison, that prince kissing Sleeping Beauty and instantly waking everyone up seems ridiculously easy.

But then, he did have to cut his way through almost impenetrable thickets — and so do we, as we work out what we can do as well as what we want to do. None of this is easy at all. You make an interesting point. Experts concerned about the mental health of our nation are already pointing out that there is a pandemic of loneliness — made worse by the virus and lockdown. Those who filled their lives with people and activities suddenly could not — and so, as you say, there was a sense of unity in isolation.

And now you highlight the sad fact that you felt less alone during lockdown because you were no longer contrasting your solitary life with the busy social lives of others. This awareness is made worse by an ongoing fear of a disease which has not gone away.

I take your point about ‘them and us’ — and naturally this is being politicised ruthlessly by those with an agenda, as if the Government wanting the economy to get going was akin to wishing to send the populace to die.

From the way I express that you will see which ‘side’ I am on. I have always disliked the phrase ‘Stay

Safe’ and very much prefer ‘Stay Alert.’ What else can we do, since universal safety is a pipedream?

At 73, I choose living with risk, rather than cowering in prison. I can’t stand people flinching as if each of us is carrying the plague.

You ask my views, so all I can do is answer from one perspective. In your case, I would do my best to park my anxieties in one part of my mind — and stride out to meet the world. I know this will be hard, but how else can you do it?

Perhaps this is the time for a new start — and use what you’ve learned during this strangest of times to consider trying new things as a way to be with people.

Try what? Ah, there’s a hard question. It has to be a question of seeing what is available and trying it. Gradually there will be more possibilities, but the country has to wake up before then. And that does mean conquering fear.