Fail to prepare, prepare to fail

THE 6 S’S FOR A SUCCESSFUL RETIREMENT

IN recent years as ‘that’ day approaches, you’ve likely thought a lot about how you’ll enjoy your retirement years. But have you prepared for the psychological effect retirement might have?

From the first day you leave your work or your business behind, you also leave a huge part of your identity behind, and that can be a huge loss for anyone.

In many ways, your work – or choice of employment – over a lifetime has formed a huge part of who you are a person, or how you and others see you.

A teacher, a guard, a nurse or a farmer – what you do often becomes who you are.

It’s the very reason that sportspeople, or people in the media, find retirement difficult at any age.

Why? Because it is how most people identify with you, so depending on the length of your career, you have maybe had years of that public and personal adoration until one day you don’t.

Being a type of person all your life, then having to do something else is tough.

Prepare for change so that the step up is not as dramatic.

So, here is my six Ss for retirement success and mental wellbeing.

STRUCTURE

This is my number-one tip. You need to keep, or add, structure to everyday life, especially after the honeymoon period of retirement wears off, and it will.

All our lives, up until retirement, have been structured – even if it is subconscious.

We tend to have spent most of our lives getting up at the same time – even our sleep-ins have been structured to occur on holidays or weekends; we take the same route to work, pick up the children from school, go home, have dinner and go to bed – then repeat.

So, suddenly, when we don’t have to be at work anymore, or even get out of bed, it’s a big shock.

I spoke to a former Irish rugby international recently and he is loving his retirement – he has his days structured with a walk, a dip in the sea, his morning coffee, his walk with his dog, his garden and a book. His days felt fulfilled and busy again.

SIGN UP TO EVERYTHING

‘Men are 40% more likely than women to suffer depression in older age’, so create new interests, hobbies and concentrate on meeting and forming a few new friendships.

Your circle of friends and work acquaintances diminish over time, and contact gets lost.

Maintaining friendships is harder for most men, and as such, it is not surprising that generally, women deal with mental health issues much better than men.

Women form stronger networks of friends over their lifetimes, often through motherhood and loyalty.

Women can also multi-task well, meaning that they can run a home and a family and still find time to juggle meeting friends through a bridge, book or a wine club.

Men still believe that they can tough it out alone and want to appear the strong silent types.

It is also in men’s DNA to see other men as threats sometimes – it goes back to caveman times when a stranger was seen as the enemy. For women it’s different; they were not coming into the family unit to steal food or flame.

As we get older, unfortunately, due to ill-health and a lower life expectancy, men may start losing their close-knit school friends much earlier.

We must make every effort to make new friends, and that takes work. So sign up to a choir, or a classic-car club, a golf club or – perhaps even better – fantastic organisations like men’s sheds.

A friend of mine in New Zealand, who was overweight in retirement, advertised for a ‘walk and talk’ event every Friday from 8am with a flyer at the local shops.

The first weekend he was joined by one other person; by Christmas there was a photo in the local paper, and 300 men now enjoyed the weekly walk and talk.

It’s a chance to meet like-minded people and form new bonds.

Interests change over life, so go with that change, embrace it. Start your own club.

STAY PHYSICAL

Physical fitness in retirement is crucial in maintaining a healthy physical and mental balance. A shark needs to keep moving to stay alive, and we are the same. It is imperative that you exercise, even if it is 30 minutes in the garden or just a short daily walk. The experts say that we should aim for at least a couple of hours each week of, at least, moderate activity. Make it part of your structured day.

Take the dog for a stroll, walk with a new friend. Maybe start cycling or playing golf.

Even a walk by the sea, to appreciate nature and breathe clean, crisp air, is good for our mental health. Aim to lead a healthier life overall with a good diet, less alcohol and no smoking.

Don’t ignore your mind, it needs exercise, so try crosswords, reading, painting or doing something creative – all things that help keep your mind and body strong.

SUMS

Regularly do your sums. This is especially important as we

approach retirement too. Try to work out what bills absolutely need to be paid each month.

Make sure you set aside that amount so you don’t end up in debt by continuously dipping into your savings.

Shop around every year for better deals: contact your provider to see what offers are out there and don’t be scared to change.

Then, after your fixed costs are met, add in all the essentials such as food, petrol, etc.

Allow for a rainy-day fund in case your roof leaks.

Leave the non-essentials to last and to what you can afford – that includes holidays, new cars, gifts and things like that. Always stay within budget. Also realise that you will probably spend more in the first years of retirement than in the latter years, and you can include that. A lot of people forget that what you are able to do at 67 years of age is a lot more than what you may be able to do at 87, unless you’re Charlie Chaplin, who had a baby in his 80s. You may also consider downsizing or taking equity in your home, to release more money along the way, if your funds are especially low. Hopefully, most of us will be mortgage-free at a certain age, so work out early what you can leave to your children in case you pass, and what your assets are worth.

Even at a later age we can still be asset-rich and cash-poor. It is not good have a five-bedroom house on your own, with millions tied up but not much day-to-day money.

You’ve worked hard. Now it’s time to enjoy your rewards.

STAY IN TOUCH

For most of us of a certain age, we can get a bit scared of technology – well don’t be.

Try to stay up to speed with ‘what the kids are doing’.

There is no age at which you cannot still enjoy surfing the web for interesting things to do, or staying in touch with friends and family on Facebook. Why not show off your latest dance moves on TikTok. It is never too late in life to acquire a new skill.

SMILE

Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? But believe me it is not.

Try to be grateful that you have reached this wonderful, exciting time in your life – some are not so lucky.

It is all too easy to fall into the role of ‘the grumpy old man’ don’t follow that road. Start each day with a smile on your face and a gratitude mediation.

At the end of every day try this simple, effective task. Write down three good things about the day.

Sometimes when we feel down or lonely, that may take some time.

But stick with it, and don’t put your pen down until you have those three things written.

No matter how simple or insignificant it may seem, jot it down. Gratitude needs to be taken out of our head and put down it on paper it is more powerful and resonates more.

Next, put your pad next to your bed and first thing in the morning pick it up read over it ten times.

Then tear it up, force a smile and think to yourself that ‘yesterday wasn’t such a bad day, today may be even better’.

It’s amazing when you force yourself to smile, even when you don’t feel up to it, it can instantly make yourself and those around us feel better, it sends signals to the brain that you are happy.

The secret then is to fake it until you make it.