By PHILIP NOLAN I only did what anyone else would do
That’s the modest opinion of Garda Shane Hunter, who gave his bride-to-be the biggest gift anyone could give – his kidney
IN any competition between friends to determine who had given the best gift to his girlfriend, it’s a fairly safe bet that Shane Hunter would win hands down. It wasn’t jewellery, it wasn’t an exotic holiday, it wasn’t a car. In fact, it wasn’t anything you even could put a price on, because its value is immeasurable and lifelong.
In June 2020, Shane gave Bríona Reynolds one of his kidneys. Their remarkable story began when they met as teenagers in 2009 through Bríona’s sister Saoirse, and they have been together ever since. Early in 2015, when Bríona, 30, from Tubber in Co Offaly, was studying in Dublin for her Masters in education, she noticed she seemed to be getting tired very easily, a lethargy she couldn’t fully explain, and she went to have her bloods checked. A series of tests followed.
‘There was a lag in the kidney function,’ she explains. ‘It wasn’t genetic, it’s not in the family. They don’t actually know what caused it, though when I was younger, I had a lot of sore throats, and they think that might have damaged the kidneys. They start to overwork, and then they just keep damaging themselves.
‘There was nothing that we could do, except just keep an eye on it, because they weren’t sure if my kidney function could have just stayed at that level forever. It might never have changed.
‘I was lucky to be close to a centre of excellence in the Midland Regional Hospital in Tullamore, where I saw nephrology consultant Dr Eoin Bergin maybe every six months, and then we could see a pattern. He was showing me on graphs that it was just gradually going down and down and down, and he projected that it was going to end in kidney failure.’
She would, sooner rather than later, need a transplant. By 2018, the effects were palpable.
‘I started to go downhill a little bit more,’ Bríona says. ‘I wasn’t able to do as much exercise, I was a lot more tired, and napping during the day. I was trying to do my Masters at the same time and that was draining. You notice that you’re a little bit more tired than other people might be at your age doing the same kind of thing.’
Eventually, she ended up on dialysis three times a week, just as the pandemic hit and after two missed dates for the surgery she now needed.
‘I was hooked up for about three hours but the whole process took about four and a half hours of your day really,’ she says, laughing because it meant she missed a lot of the great weather the country enjoyed in those early days of the pandemic.
She was on tablets and binders, and her diet was restricted, keeping an eye on salt and potassium.
‘I wasn’t eating as much so I would have to go on to shakes for the calories and nutrients I wasn’t getting into my body in a normal way,’ she says.
Her mother Gina and three sisters — Saoirse, Caoimhe and Alannah — had all volunteered for testing, and Gina was found to be a match. But Bríona didn’t want to prevail upon any of her sisters, who all have families, and for whom losing a kidney might prove an issue with future pregnancies.
Surprisingly, though, given that they were not related, there was another perfect match to hand — Shane. The 31-year-old garda, from Athlone and now based in Tullamore, never had any doubt as to what he wanted to do. ‘In my head, it made more sense for me to go forward, given that they suggested that a male kidney, especially from a man my age, would be a more viable option,’ he says.
After the initial indications his kidney would be suitable, more tests followed, along with psychological evaluations undertaken to ensure the decision is entirely voluntary — there was no question about that in this instance — and that the person understands the potential health pitfalls that might affect them later in life.
‘It was all explained in minute detail,’ Shane says. ‘It’s a credit to Beaumont that everything is so transparent. Everything is up front. While there are risks like with any surgery, they were minimal compared to the positives we were looking at.
‘Yes, there is a lowly risk that I could develop my own kidney difficulties later in life, but they tell you how you can encourage good health. Stay hydrated and just be careful what you drink, which isn’t an issue for me — I’d have a drink at Christmas, but that would be about it for the year.’
There were worries for Bríona too. ‘Shane always knew he wanted to get tested, but I wasn’t too eager,’ she says.
‘I was thinking of people going forward. I didn’t want anybody to be going under surgery that was
I didn’t want anybody to have surgery that was unnecessary
unnecessary for them, even though it was necessary for me.’
Two dates for the transplant were missed. The first, on February 3, 2020, was postponed when Shane’s bloods showed irregularities, and the second date, March 23, was a casualty of the initial Covid lockdown. Finally, on June 22 two years ago, the big day arrived.
‘I wasn’t nervous,’ Shane says. ‘Down to my years playing football [soccer and later Gaelic], I’ve broken my leg and my wrists, so the hospital aspect never frightened me.’
With visiting restrictions in place though, there were other challenges.
‘There was a small bit of loneliness, of not having family there or anyone to distract you. We were sitting together and then when I was wheeled down, I knew Bríona was by herself. Then when I woke up, I was waiting to get word from her. It was just the environment created by Covid rather than the actual surgery.’
Both had to rest for six weeks, and even still take it easy after that. Shane went back to running, but contact sports are not recommended. Bríona is now working as an art teacher in Mullingar Community College, and also has her own ceramics workshop in her parents’ house. She took up yoga and since then has actually trained as
a yoga teacher. Her mother always was into mindfulness, and yoga fits neatly into that space.
‘Mom has always told us to take the day as it comes and not be stressed,’ Bríona says. ‘And my dad. They’re both very good for kind of keeping us calm in difficult situations.’
This year, the happiest of occasions put many of the darker memories firmly in the past. Shane and Bríona got married, having had to postpone last year when it became clear restrictions would mean all the guests they wanted to share their special day would not be allowed to attend.
Bríona was walked down the aisle by her father Frank and the reception was held in Mount Druid in Castletown Geoghegan, Co Westmeath. The party continued the next day in a marquee at home in Tubber.
Life has changed very much for the better, but also maybe in ways they could not have imagined.
‘It sounds like a cliché, but it’s really about not getting annoyed by the small and silly things,’ Bríona says. ‘I think that’s what it really did for us.
‘Even if you’re having a bad day at work, nothing is a big deal any more. We’ve already had the big deal, so nothing compares to that. Everything is just minor going forward. It relaxes the relationship in a sense, which is nice.’
As for Shane, he has words of advice for anyone in the same position. ‘I suppose it’s just to really talk to yourself,’ he says. ‘Why are you doing it? What do you hope the outcome is? How will the two of you feel if, for whatever reason, it doesn’t work out the way you planned? The big thing Beaumont talk about is that when you give the kidney, you have to realise it’s no longer yours.
‘It’s just to be careful that there isn’t an imbalance in the relationship. You can’t be looking over your shoulder if the person wants to have a drink. You just have to make sure that you’re giving it for the right reason, and when it is given, you support that person fully.
‘Be open to be open and honest. If it’s something that you need to talk to a counsellor about, if you have any hang-ups, just talk to them. I say this respectfully, but trying to be a hero and rushing in and not fully thinking about something won’t benefit anyone.’
It is a testament to both that they have come through it all so positively. After all, Bríona was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, had surgery, completed a Masters, moved into a house and planned a wedding — all hugely stressful events taken individually but a massive hill to climb when grouped together. She must be very determined and strong.
‘I wouldn’t have said that about myself, but I think it makes you kind of just keep going,’ she says. ‘There’s no other choice. You can’t just lay down, you have to just keep pushing through. There was no other option.’
As for Shane, he rejects out of hand any suggestion of heroics.
‘It’s not in any way to downplay it but I think anyone, if they were in the position to do it, and were fortunate enough to be able to do it, they would,’ he says.
‘I saw a comment on Facebook where someone said, “this lad hasn’t done what anyone wouldn’t do for his wife”, and there was a lot of backlash, but he was right.
‘I don’t even think about it any more, only when people that I haven’t seen in a while mention it. It was a given.
‘It was something that I felt had to be done, and it was for nothing else other than Bríona.’
You have to make sure you’re giving it for the right reason
O INDIVIDUALS who wish to support organ donation are encouraged to share their wishes with their family and can keep reminders of their decision by carrying the organ donor card; permitting Code 115 to be put on their driving licence; or having the digital organ donor card app on their smartphone. Organ donor cards can be requested by visiting the ika.ie, phoning the Irish Kidney Association on 01 620 5306, or else freetext the word DONOR to 50050. European Day for Organ Donation and Transplantation will be celebrated on October 10 and the 37th annual service of remembrance and thanksgiving for organ donors and transplant recipients will be broadcast on RTÉ One television at 11am on October 30.