How your stylist can help when it comes to hair loss and cancer

OVER the last few months, Leisa and I have discussed this article more than any other. We kept putting it off — there was the wedding session, Christmas and questions about nits and why babies make your hair fall out to deal with. But this subject was always there, poking us in the back, asking us when we were going to confront the elephant in the room.

By and large hairdressing is one of the most joyful of industries and salons are happy places — the smell of beautiful products and fresh aroma of coffee, often filled with laughter and occasionally a tear or two when someone is leaving, getting married or pregnant. But they are happy tears and when those great hair creations are finished, there is no better feeling in the world for a hairdresser than to see that beaming smile.

We live for the relationship between us and you — the changing years and lives, we share the joys with you and we grow together— which is why when you see that stylist in the corner or the quiet area with their client in their arms or holding their hands deep in conversation, the rest of the staff know that the space is off limits. They are having that conversation.

We hairdressers are never trained for the conversation, there is no professional exam, no one ever tells you that there will be a day — actually many days in fact — when the dreaded words come. All our skills, technique, finesse and creativity will have no part in this client’s relationship with you from now on — not forever but for the foreseeable future.

OUR job now is different. The words ‘I have cancer’ strike hard and many clients often can’t say it. There might be someone — a husband, a daughter, sometimes a son — close by to offer support but ultimately it’s between us and the client. The fear of the illness is one thing but many women will tell you that this is almost always overshadowed by facing hair loss.

There is no escaping the fact that for many women this will be the most traumatic aspect of the pending ordeal. No matter how stoic and optimistic our clients are about their illness or diagnosis, hair will be up there in terms of conversation questions and solutions, and we are here to advise reassure and plan for the future with you, to consider the options, research them and offer solutions.

But before all this there is a period of acceptance and coming to terms with what is about to happen. That often requires time, consideration and empathy that relies on experience and understanding.

The worst aspect of this process for the hairdresser is the request by the client to remove her hair when the treatment starts.

We obviously never in a million years would want to do that. But we often find that the client is usually more than ready for this — the distress of seeing hair in the shower and bedclothes will have instigated the desire to take action. And whilst we are usually nervous and maybe even upset, the client is usually positive and upbeat. It is best that we do it — from a relationship perspective but also technically. There is a pattern and discipline to removing hair like this that needs a kindness and empathy.

We will discuss the options at this point — wigs, pieces, scarves and after care that is permitted — but first there will be a cooling off period.

The client will quite often take time to feel touch and examine this new version of her head — head shapes can be quite beautiful and most women remark that it looks a lot better than they thought it would. We will try our best to make the new shape look as beautiful and suitable as we possibly can within the limitations.

We usually do this haircut in private, a day the salon is closed or after hours in some cases we will come to your home. The family are sometimes there and that is when it is the most heartbreaking. We usually don’t recommend that young children or highly emotional family members are present but ultimately its the client’s wishes that are important. The hair loss process will continue — less noticeably but it’s likely that all hair will fall out, though each case is different.

A new relationship with the client now starts via WhatsApp text or phone — health and hair updates as well as the sharing and advising of wig makers, suppliers and specialists. Your hairdresser will know the best people in your area and beyond and it’s a huge area of expertise but we will share many recommendations and first hand experiences to point you in the right direction.

In my own case I don’t make, supply or seek wigs, but have tailored, fitted, cut and styled hundreds over the years when my clients have brought them in because they didn’t feel just quite right.

This is a service many hairdressers offer or they will recommend other stylists who do it. Our network when it comes to cancer or other hair loss patients is pretty incredible in terms of the willingness to support and care for our clients.

THE road back to hair growth is often like spring — happy, positive and exciting. The new hair is often very different to the hair the client remembers, maybe curlier, softer, lighter — sometimes it can be unmanageable and even a little angry. It’s normal for this new, disobedient hair to be slightly wayward but within three to six months of the new hair growing, we will already see the beginnings of your new hair future.

First we will try to encourage you to have fun with the everchanging texture and lengths, experimenting with permitted products and styles. There is a new found freedom and liberty with this hair. We will take you slowly through managing the growth and condition of the hair’s resurgence, advising you on good nutrition and treatments both for you and your hair that will benefit its strength and integrity.

By the end of year one posttreatment, you and your hair will be in perfect harmony again.

This journey is not textbook and sadly we can’t predict the future, nor is it scientifically or medically factual.

We as hairdressers do what we do because we love people and their hair, you trust us and because of that, your hair is in the best hands. There will be many people advising, recommending and persuading you of solutions, products and people as you embark on this fight.

But your hairdresser - who you’ve trusted for years - is the person who has the insight, skill, humanity and desire to see that you come through this knowing that your hair could not be in better hands. We will be there for you ...always.