Give your health a STEER
This Roman wellness retreat will push you to the limit – but is well worth the effort
WHERE to begin with The Ranch Italy? I have to tell you, there are no horses or cowboys. But a stay at The Ranch sure is a ride, so if you want to feel like a newborn foal, look no further.
Founded originally in Malibu, California, and touted as one of the world’s leading health retreats, The Ranch is isn’t quite robes and enemas. For better and for worse, guests can expect a gruelling endurance test that opens one up to a whole new meaning of well-being.
It’s ideal if you want to awaken your system, shed pounds, meet new people and luxuriate in the rolling hills of outer Rome in the comfort of the no-less-than-exquisite Palazzo Fiuggi, famed among Romans and beyond for its healing waters. It will help channel your inner spartan and find that muscle memory from your agile teens.
For emphasis, luxury is not skimped on in terms of environment. However, the lowcalorie, rumble-inducing meals are set to leave you dreaming of the pasta served in other parts of the palazzo and the nearby ancient town of Fiuggi, source of the mineral-rich waters that guests flock from worldwide to dowse themselves in.
The whole point of The Ranch is to fully immerse in movement among the surrounding mountains, to unplug from usual routines and rigmarole.
That means detaching from the idea of holiday break, that can be steeped in bodily overindulgence and toxin overload. Not to mention boxticking five tourist attractions by day and larging it at night. You’ll get a whole other level of mucky at The Ranch, Italy.
My desire to go there came from an ongoing skin condition I was desperate to heal. After three weeks sweating it out in Rome covering the film festival, I was au fait with 25,000plus steps a day.
I’d arrived fresh and prepared for the four-hour daily hikes and, after a fortnight of hammering carbonara and wine, keen to give the gut a little break. Then I discovered that yes, I was fresh, but I was not prepared.
On the first morning, my skin condition was beyond painful and exhaustion had hit — this tends to happen for me after a big assignment.
My gorgeous, palatial palace room with Egyptian cotton sheets, marble bathroom and flatscreen TV, all paled next to the picturesque views of the hills and nearby old town in the distance. After a snack of apple and nut butter, I assessed my aches, pains and overall rundown feeling and had to opt out of the hike.
Luckily, there were classes aplenty, a ravishing set of indoor and outdoor pools and a resplendent spa to get busy in. I did aerobics, pilates and swam, hoovered up seasoned greens with the rest of the ranchers, then slept.
Sometimes you just have to listen to your body and admit defeat — after all, there were three more hikes ahead. On top of some diagnostic testing, the team ensure everyone is ripe enough for the slog of strenuous hiking on a fasted stomach, with a choice of difficulty levels, guides, whistles and water sacks.
What followed were amazing results and sights I had heard about in testimonials.
I can’t lie, the lowcalorie challenge and high gradient of hills was a struggle for many at times. Some felt giddy, some energised, some over it, some wanting more. Then the moods would switch. Like I said, a ride. But while I was taken aback at people’s initial weariness and pallid appearance when back from hikes, what followed were mid-afternoon surges of energy and an ability to plough on with more movement.
Dinners were the most lively of times, despite the fact they were booze-free. Without that social lubricant, the shared experience of the morning’s endurance feat sped up conversation and curiosity.
Enlightened by the mountain goats, pines, and hours of trudging on with only nuts to snack on and views to drink in, burning questions lay on guests’ lips. What matters most to you in life? Who are you reading?
It was magic to be within a community bound by walking. My skin slowly healed and thanks to the powerful vitamins lacing that mysterious spa town’s water, my carbonara weight dropped away. I basked in the thoughts I didn’t meditate on often enough since childhood — walking through the gardens of our world is the priciest luxury of them all.
TO TIP or not to tip? Unfortunately, that is not the question when visiting the US.
Because, on the other side of the Atlantic, it’s simply a matter of how much to cough up.
What makes it worse is that it’s now par for the course to have a card-reader shoved under your nose asking if you want to add 10 per cent, 20 per cent, 25 per cent or even 30 per cent after almost any purchase. Not just for a meal at a restaurant, but for a coffee at a kiosk, a drink in a bar, or sometimes (shockingly) at self-service counters and convenience stores. Even Americans are finding it too much, coining a word for the widespread tipping culture: ‘tipflation’.
And a recent survey by LendingTree, an online finance company, revealed that some 60 per cent of people in the US were tipping more than ever. So, with locals struggling to deal with the phenomenon, what on earth should we do when travelling across the pond?
US-based tipping expert Diane Gottsman’s golden rule is to be distinctly un-Irish and — when in doubt — simply ask about the usual procedure. She also recommends avoiding card machine add-ons and tipping in cash instead.
Much depends on where you go: expect to tip more in New York or LA than in, for example, St Louis, Missouri or rural Oklahoma. Here’s our guide:
RESTAURANTS: DISH OUT THE DOUGH
WHEN Jayden or Lily-Anne flashes a pearly white smile and introduces themselves in a flourish of friendliness, it may — to the uninitiated Irish visitor — feel overwhelming. Why are they being so charming? Isn’t it just too familiar? Can they really be so pleasant all the time?
The answer is: yes. And the reason is simple — they need to make a good impression to encourage you to leave a tip to supplement what can be meagre wages. The minimum wage in the US. is $7.25 (€6.66). However, for positions where employees receive tips, this is a mere $2.13 (€1.95) — although it does vary state by state.
Not everyone, of course, is on this lowest of low rate, but it gives a pointer to what salaries may be like.
So tip a minimum of 15 per cent to 20 per cent, or more if the service is especially good. If you don’t, expect to be chased down the street.
PORTERS: BAGGING THE DOLLARS
IT’S that awkward moment, if you’re not a big tipper — when the bellboy/porter asks: ‘Can I help you with your bags?’
The unspoken etiquette is that if you answer ‘yes’, then a tip is due — and by the time you’ve reached your room, you may well have already shelled out $15.
The general rule of thumb is to tip the doorman carrying your bags from the street to reception $5, and the bellboy taking luggage to your room another $5-$10, especially if you have more than a couple of bags.
Remember, though, there is no obligation to do so and many Americans take their own bags these days to avoid tipping. Make sure you change currency into small denominations before you go — plenty of five and onedollar bills are essential for your trip.
CONCIERGES: JUST SAY ‘THANK YOU’
NO NEED to tip the concierge if he or she has simply provided directions to the nearest pharmacy or cafe. For theatre tickets or restaurant reservations, however, $5 to $20 is the going rate, depending on how tricky the booking is — and don’t be stingy (they’ll remember next time you ask for help with something).
HOTELS: TO LEAVE BUCKS OR NOT?
GIVE $3 to $5 per room per night. But don’t do it all in one big go at the end of a stay. The reason for this is that housekeepers often change day by day.
So leave tips daily — even if you don’t in Ireland. ‘Housekeepers are paid an hourly wage, but they’re doing a tough job, so a tip is a nice gesture,’ says Gottsman.
BARS: DOUBLE MEASURES
IT MAY go against the grain — not being the norm back home — but in the US it’s commonplace to shell out $1 per drink. This is an absolute minimum in a run-of-themill bar.
In a fancy cocktail joint you may wish to double it or even pay more, especially if you hope to be served quickly