A problem shared
Does it matter if my children eat in front of the television?
QMY HUSBAND finishes work far later than me, so I give our seven and four-yearold daughters dinner at 5.30pm. We eat a different meal once they’re in bed. It’s such a rush so I grab quick children’s favourites from the freezer for their supper. And when they’re being fussy, I do sometimes let them watch television while eating. It would be easier if we all ate together, but my husband thinks as long as they’re eating, that’s fine. I worry we’re falling into bad habits. Does it matter?
AI THINK it really does matter. As a mother of four myself, I can easily see why family mealtimes are being squeezed out. And the availability of convenience foods is further eroding the chances of enjoying regular family meals.
In Spain, nearly 80 per cent of children expect to have meals with their families. In Ireland, it’s estimated that maybe 36% of families eat together. It doesn’t have to be this way. I’m a child of the 1960s and we went out to play all day. Our family meal together was one of the few set fixtures — we had to be home in time to help prepare it.
Sitting at the table together was a great chance to catch up, offload, tell stories and celebrate the food. And we broadly managed to do the same thing with our children, which benefited us all.
Eating in front of a screen, even if you are all together, just isn’t the same. You will pay little attention to the food or each other.
I firmly believe that families who eat together, stay together. A wealth of research backs me up on this, too.
According to the studies, if you cook and eat together you are more likely to have a healthy diet, eat more fruit and veg, and maintain a healthy weight.
Children also learn by watching
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It is a chance to hear and respond to what is happening in your child’s day, and to aid them in developing thoughtfulness and emotional resilience. When they do have worries, they know they can tell you about it.
These chats are also important for building self-esteem and body image. Better academic performance also results and, astonishingly, dinner-time conversation is linked to less alcohol and substance use, or depression.
So, what can you do? Start by moving meals later for the kids and earlier for your husband, so you can eat together a couple of days a week. And aim for consistent times. The kids will probably eat better, while you only need to make one meal!
Start with family favourites. Gradually include a wider menu and on some days let them choose. Also, let them help by laying the table, for example.
It is crucial you set an example. If you make it a calm time and don’t use mobile phones at the table, the children are likely to follow your lead. Family meals are all about creating an environment where you enjoy food together, conversations are meaningful and fun, and healthy choices are prioritised.