A LIFE CENTRE STAGE
Musician, writer and dual GAA star, Laois’ Pat Critchley is anything but a Mere Mortal
TALK to Pat Critchley about Semple Stadium in Tipperary and the conversation is as likely to involve Meatloaf, Hothouse Flowers and Van Morrison as it is hurling.
He didn’t just tog out at the iconic venue over the course of a mould-breaking dual career, Laois’ sole hurling All-Star also featured there as part of the music festival Féile 1990 with his band The Mere Mortals.
Writer, musician, player, coach — it’s not the usual tagline for Thursday’s Laochra Gael episode of the latest series that continues to tell stories of players that are multi-dimensional and take in a life beyond the playing field.
So, before the storied career with his club Portlaoise and his native county, the rock-n-roll years…
‘We had backstage passes for the whole weekend,’ he recalls of that August festival in 1990.’ It was a fabulous weekend. We played at 12 o’clock on the Saturday morning, played about five songs for half an hour. Around that time, The Saw Doctors would have played after us and The Stunning. Ah, there was a great buzz.’
Their profile was helped by some improvisation from Seamus ‘Cheddar’ Plunkett, not just band manager and close friend but someone known more recently for managing the O’Moore County hurlers.
‘A great crowd from Laois went down. We were late onto the lineup so we weren’t on the posters. But starting from Dublin, I think Cheddar and the crew put posters of The Mere Mortals the whole way down to Thurles from Dublin. They were great for that kind of craic.
‘We weren’t playing in ’91 but we were back there — Shane MacGowan was headlining with The Pogues one of the nights.’
Which brought him into the orbit of the late punk poet.
‘I lost most of my teeth against Tipperary in ’84 in the Centenary Cup quarter-final. When we were backstage in the tent, myself and Paul Marron, the lead singer, we were drinking two cans of Heineken while Shane was tucking into the vodka over in the corner. Paul Marron says, “Jaysus, there’s MacGowan over in the corner there and not a tooth in his head and he never f**kin played hurling!”’
Critchley’s story makes for captivating viewing. One of six kids, he describes growing up in St Bridget’s Place — one of Portlaoise’s oldest council estates and He recalls one day when a stray sliotar broke glass — and yet didn’t interrupt the order of the day. ‘We were playing away and Dinny Griffey (a neighbour) was having his tea inside the front window on the table. It was a big window but it had small square panes. Playing away anyway when Billy let fly a ball, and it skidded off the top of the wall, burst the window at the other end of the table. ‘Dinny just perked up, looked around, looked out — never got up from his tea. ‘Billy went up to Daddy and told him what happened. Daddy went down the next day and measured and put in the window. Dinny knew that was going to happen as well. Nowadays the guards would probably be called!
‘He never even got up off the table. Finished out his tea.
‘It was great to be back there and reliving all of that.’
A natural athlete, he developed an obsession with sport and quickly made a big impression across the codes: hurling, Gaelic football, basketball, soccer — you name it.
With his mop of curly hair, he stood out from the crowd. By 21, he was on about 15 different teams. In hurling and football, he won county titles aplenty, the pinnacle coming with the 1983 club football All-Ireland. With Laois, he captained the hurlers in the Centenary Cup final against Cork in Croke Park in 1984.
So good in 1985, he was honoured with an All-Star hurling award after Laois appeared in both Leinster finals.
And then, tragedy struck. Clearing a ball for Laois in a National League game that November, his hurley accidentally caught Dublin hurler Paul Mulhere. The match continued, both players shaking hands after the game.
Critchley was in school the next morning when the news came on the radio about a Dublin player taking ill afterwards. He was one of over 2,000 people who turned up at the funeral. ‘It was very traumatic.’
It’s still all very raw and emotional
“The Stunning and The Saw Doctors played after us”
“The TV show helps to keep Paul Mulhere’s memory alive”
even now but the programme packs added power in that ‘it is a commemoration of Paul as a hurler as well, to keep his memory as a hurler alive’.
And the programme is testament to Critchley’s transformative impact as a teacher and coach at Scoil Chríost Rí in Portlaoise where he left a lasting legacy and remains such a popular figure.
‘If anyone were to ever say a bad word about him, there would be an army of people to stand up for him,’ says one of his former players.
And he continues to give back so much time coaching on different fronts.
Which doesn’t leave much time for playing accordion, though the old band are still knocking around and thinking of gigging.
‘After we videoed for the programme last November, the lads have done a few practices out in Oli Plunkett’s Golden Egg studios. They might do a few records or a few gigs.’
As to whether he’ll get a chance to join them?
‘Nearly every time they practice I’m coaching some game with the school. I’ve only got out there once so far. ‘We’ll see.’ ‘Basketball is only 10 players in a much smaller playing size. And there’s a lot of refereeing and officiating to it.
‘I think the referees have too much to do as it is in Gaelic football. We have seven officials but I don’t think we make proper use of them.
‘In basketball, you’ve two referees for 10 players. Three now at international level. There’s a lead referee and a trail referee. They each cover the space. In the modern age now with technology and scoreboard, score and time should be done on the sideline.
‘I’ve seen in ladies Gaelic football, the countdown clock is excellent. It works for ladies football. Maybe the pick-up would quicken the game as well.
‘At the same time you don’t want to be too radical.’