TOXIC TALES IN AND OUT OF LOUGH NEAGH

THE Upper and Lower Bann divide Northern Ireland in two. This is basically the Mississippi of the North — without, of course, the blues, jazz, riverboat queens, Mardi Gras festivals, New Orleans and so on.

Nonetheless, the Bann flows into Lough Neagh (right), then out again. After having flowed in stately fashion slowly from the lough, the river is funnelled between hills and cliffs to finally make its way out to the Atlantic.

Sadly, it will be somewhat tainted after it leaves Lough Neagh, because last year a report officially stated what everyone more or less knew — Lough Neagh is seriously polluted, having experienced high levels of harmful bacteria amid a long-term infestation of toxic algae which had been allowed to fester in the lough.

Recently the British Agriculture, Environment and Rural Affairs Minister Andrew Muir met with Nicholas Ashley-Cooper, 12th Earl of Shaftesbury and the person who owns the bed and soil of Lough Neagh.

He appears to be open to the idea of perhaps selling the lough to the State. He came to own the lough through an unfortunate set of circumstances. At the beginning of the 2000s, he was enjoying being a New York-based DJ known as Nick AC, with nary a thought of the toxic algae in Lough Neagh. But then tragedy struck — twice.

In November 2004, his father, the 10th Earl, was killed by his third wife, Jamila M’Barek, a Playboy model turned prostitute, and her brother Mohammad. Lord Shaftesbury had met the Tunisian

Ms M’Barek in a bar. During a dispute, a fight broke out between the 10th Earl and his brother-inlaw, Mohammed M’Barek. The Earl died during the fight.

The M’Bareks were convicted of his murder. Jamila M’Barek received a 25-year prison sentence as an accomplice to the murder.

The Earl was described in his Daily Telegraph obituary as someone ‘who demonstrated the dangers of the possession of inherited wealth coupled with a weakness for women and Champagne’.

Six months later, in May 2005, the 11th Earl died of an unexplained heart attack in Manhattan, and Ashley-Cooper, his younger brother, succeeded him in the earldom, and consequently the ownership of Lough Neagh.

Amid all the myths and legend of Lough Neagh — and there are many — none are more spellbinding, or tragic, than that of the Shaftesburys.