GOAL CYBORG SHOWS HIS HUMAN SIDE
SATISFACTION washed over a selfassured Erling Haaland yesterday. As 126 eyes and a dozen lenses narrowed right on the world stage’s heir to Lionel Messi, he reclined, smiled and laughed in a way that wins you popularity contests.
Haaland finished second in the grandest of those, October’s Ballon d’Or. Behind Messi, naturally. The obliteration of records, scoring 52 times in an unfathomably brutish debut season at Manchester City, didn’t prove enough to topple the romanticism of a little wizard delivering Argentina that longawaited World Cup.
And that is what Haaland needs if he is to dominate this space in the post-Messi era. That bit extra, a storyline, or allowing his personality to shine.
The stardom has long since been there, and one Norwegian journalist who arrived in Manchester hours earlier on a whim couldn’t believe his luck when it became clear that Haaland was speaking before the match with Copenhagen tonight. But Haaland has started to offer more of an insight than ever before for his supporters. It would come as no surprise if Haaland is one of the stars of City’s new Netflix documentary, for example.
He will forever be box-office, the hum at City’s training ground significantly louder than it might ordinarily have been before a Champions League last-16 second leg which Pep Guardiola’s Treble winners ought to navigate without issue after winning the first leg 3-1.
Watching him captivate an audience though, dropping in little bits of humour and selfdeprecation, is so far removed from the snarky and snippy youngster we were promised when he moved over here from Borussia Dortmund in 2022.
And this is the arena where Haaland can make his gains over a Kylian Mbappe or Jude Bellingham in the coming years. Not in penalty boxes, because he will always score an unholy number of times a year. More when the bulbs flash, when the world watches, and how he cracks wise and shows how charmingly relatable the goal cyborg can be.
It’s the sort of performance that helps grow cults, as Cristiano Ronaldo realised particularly early into his assault on what’s considered normal. Maybe Haaland will decide to do this more often in future.
‘People say I’m good at scoring goals but I missed the biggest chance in the world ever two days ago,’ he said, deadpan. Able to revisit that moment in the Manchester derby on Sunday, when somehow volleying over Foden’s centre from underneath Andre Onana’s unguarded bar, without fear of recriminations.
‘I’ve been missing, I missed a lot of chances. I’ll probably miss a big chance in the future as well, and people are going to criticise me, but what can I do? Should I think of that?’
Perhaps the most striking aspect of Haaland’s afternoon against a club he refused to name at his unveiling 18 months ago wasn’t that miss. It wasn’t the eventual goal, which sealed victory. No, after all that — and with stoppage time still going on — Haaland turned to the south end of the Etihad Stadium and started doing the Poznan (the City fans’ iconic celebration where they turn their back on the pitch).
ONLY briefly, but it acted as further proof of how he has embedded himself into City’s culture and how this has been such a good fit. So much of a good fit, instantly clicking with the team, that it moved Guardiola to slight surprise. They’d obviously heard less desirable things about his character as well, none of which have surfaced.
‘It was so quick,’ his manager said. ‘He was always smiling and it was so easy. He has impressed the most off the pitch with his lovely character. The bigger stars are more humble normally, they understand better. Maybe that is why they are the biggest stars.’
City would like Haaland to sign a contract with them beyond 2027. Release clauses would be renegotiated, as Real Madrid continue to monitor his situation, and he insisted that Manchester is home at the moment.
Keeping his inquisitors on a string, the 23-year-old did add: ‘If I say this now it’s probably gonna be a massive headline… tomorrow you never know what the future brings, but I’m happy. You can write this, but you also have to write everything I said before.’
What came before was his admiration for Guardiola, the board and directors. There felt a sincerity to his words when the Norwegian mentioned that the response to last year’s success — the records, the Treble — could have gone either way.
‘You can think about it in two ways,’ he said, rubbing his fingers together. ‘One thing is I came here and won it all, and the other thing is I’m 23 and I won everything and I got the taste of it, how it is to win everything. How I work is that when I feel this, I want to win it again. Easy as that.’
Improbable but still possible this season. First City need to make sure that Copenhagen do not give them a fright tonight. And then that Liverpool do not nudge four points clear in the Premier League on Sunday.
Haaland could do without more pain inflicted by the Danish champions after a week’s trial as a 16-year-old that didn’t end well. ‘It was in 2016, the trial,’ he said. ‘A couple of guys from the club wanted me then but not everyone. I was interested. I even got a shirt, I still have it at home actually. My destiny was another way. It’s a decent way so far. It didn’t happen — sad for them!’
He’d not had the big growth spurt by that point, not become ‘a physical monster’, as one Copenhagen source puts it. Haaland and his father, Alfie, had watched the first team train but the academy bosses felt that Jonas Wind was a better bet up front. Wind is just over 12 months older. Now at Wolfsburg, he has one goal in his last 19 appearances. The loser of that fight now has 80 in 84 games for the best team on the planet.
And Haaland clearly hasn’t forgotten the week in the Danish capital, a couple of friends who stand on the vaunted ‘Sektion 12’ behind the goal at Parken acting as a constant reminder.
What he is adept at is shrugging off disappointment during matches, however. Guardiola discussed this at the weekend, the quality to bounce back from moments of failure. As proof: nobody has missed more big chances than Haaland’s 26 in the Premier League this year but then nobody has scored more than his 18 goals either. Another golden boot seems likely.
It is a quality but not one that is innate. ‘It’s been a challenge for me — when I was young, I remember I would start crying if we lost and I missed a lot of chances,’ he admitted. ‘I’ve been working on it a lot and it’s been a challenge.
‘I demand a lot from myself and all my team-mates demand a lot from me and the manager and all the fans. I think it’s something to work on and in the end everything is in here (taps head), it’s an easy answer but it’s also so difficult.
‘It’s with everything in life, if you overthink something it’s not good, if there’s stress in your life it’s not good. It’s a mental thing, it’s something I’ve been working naturally on.’
Without offering an explanation of exactly how he works on his mental edge, Haaland left those in the room wanting more. It’s what great entertainers do.
‘People say I’m good at scoring but I missed the biggest chance in the world against United’
‘A couple of guys from FC Copenhagen wanted me as a 16-year-old but not everyone. It didn’t happen – sad for them!’