Clodagh Hawe’s mother made it click with me – I was in a similar situation
Maev fled after she realised the risk her husband posed
DOMESTIC abuse survivor Maev McLoughlinDoyle has said the tragic death of Clodagh Hawe made her realise how much danger she was in.
Maev’s ex-husband, former garda Mark Doyle, was last week sentenced to six years in prison having been charged with six counts of assault causing harm to his wife and his two stepsons.
Maev endured horrific abuse at the hands of her partner for years. She said she suffered from physical abuse and emotional control as well as emotional abuse.
She feared she would not be able to escape from the abuse because her husband was a garda and was therefore seen as a pillar of the community.
But it was the violent death of Clodagh Hawe and her three children in 2016 that made Maev realise she needed to get out of the relationship for her own safety and that of her children.
Ms Hawe was killed along with her three sons Liam, Niall and Ryan by her husband, their father Alan Hawe. He killed himself after he carried out the murders.
‘You know the Clodagh Hawe case? I seen her mam and her sister being interviewed and they were describing the family and suspicions they might have had and it started to click with me I was living with the same kind of person,’ she told Oliver Callan on RTÉ Radio One.
‘The part that really hit home was that he also was a pillar of the community. He was a school principal. He was helping out in the local GAA teams.
‘Mark would have been similar, you know – a garda, scout leader, you know, helping in the community... So, when I seen Clodagh’s mother speak and articulate the red flags that she would have maybe seen in hindsight, it started to click with me that I was living in the same situation. And it was extremely powerful for me and I think that was 2016.
‘It took me another three years to actually find my way out but that was a really powerful moment for me starting to recognise that I was in serious trouble and how dangerous Mark was and how dangerous he’d become,’ she said.
Maev explained how, during the years of abuse, her now ex-husband controlled her life and would often put her down and constantly make her feel unsure of herself.
The terrifying physical attacks included beating her with zips and kicking her with boots on. Two attacks left her with a perforated ear drum. She was also beaten while she was pregnant, she said.
The toll of the abuse led to Maev being constantly sick and developing psoriasis. She said she was always suffering with stomach problems because of what she had to endure.
‘It was never-ending. I was always unsure of myself. It was all about control. He would blame me. He would paint the perfect picture of himself to the outside world and say I was fat, overweight and lazy. It was pretty horrific,’ she added.
However, she said she is now getting her life back together and is focusing on the future for her and her children.
‘I have got control back. I’m back in college, trying to go into a new career. Even now there are times I would look at things such as the wash basket that he would make a big argument about and think, “Thank God”.
‘It is those tiny moments of “I’m free”. They happen every week. I have those moments of realising little things are not big things any more.’
Maev urged anyone going through something similar to reach out for help as there is support out there.
‘Lean into the supports. They are so flexible. You don’t even have to identify yourself. Even those little bits and pieces of making contact will give you the supports to move on and make a plan for yourself.
‘Also a pillar of the community’ ‘An oppressive house to be in’
‘They will listen and they will support you,’ she said.
Sentencing Doyle last week, Judge Martin Nolan said the former garda engaged in ‘reprehensible’ behaviour which involved a ‘pattern of violence’ against his partner and her two sons.
‘For reasons known only to Mr Doyle, he couldn’t control his temper and blamed his wife for his own bad behaviour,’ the judge said.
Judge Nolan said it was ‘noteworthy’ that Doyle was a former member of the Defence Forces and a member of An Garda Síochána. He noted that the offending had taken place in front of children at times.
‘It was an oppressive house to live in,’ he said. ‘Maev Doyle bears the scars of all of this.’