STUCK AT HOME WITH NO FRIENDS

Dear Coleen

I have no friends, no social life... nothing! I had depression last year and I’ve only recently started feeling back to normal again. I would love to go out and enjoy myself like everyone else in their twenties, but I just don’t know how to make friends. There are no groups to join in my area and I just feel really isolated. I have a loving family, but I feel like my teenage years and twenties aren’t what I expected them to be. I’m just sat at home watching everyone else have fun. Please help.

Coleen says

You say you’ve only recently started feeling back to your old self, so don’t expect too much right away. Take a bit of time to build your confidence – it’s not going to happen overnight. However, I think you need to start engaging with the world a bit more. It’s all very well saying you’re stuck at home watching everyone else have fun, but only you can start to change that. Let people know you’re up for going out and doing things – unfortunately, it’s not like when you’re little and friends come knocking to ask you to come out to play. And try some different things that you might not have considered before, such as volunteer work – it gets you out of the house and gives you a sense of worth, plus there’s a social aspect too in that you’d get to meet new people. Go to the library, take a book to the local café – just start doing small things that get you out of the house and interacting with other people. And maybe your family can support you on a practical level as well as an emotional level by coming up with some ideas. Even if you’re taking baby steps at first, your confidence will grow and you’ll gradually feel braver and ready to take on new things.