BROTHER IS HAVING THIRD BIG WEDDING

Dear Coleen

My brother is 15 years older than me – he’s just turned 50 – and is getting married for a third time. He and his fiancée are making a huge thing out of their wedding, which they’ve conveniently booked for Christmas Eve. We’re all expected to stay at this expensive hotel in Scotland and they’ve also sent round a wedding gift list with really expensive items. I’m married with two very young kids and just can’t afford it – again! Am I just being miserable because I think he should have a small do after his last two marriages failed after big expensive weddings? He’s also excluded kids from the day, which is really inconvenient for me and my partner. What’s your opinion on all of this?

Coleen says

I understand where you’re coming from and I’m sure a few of the other guests will raise an eyebrow. But, look, it probably isn’t his fiancée’s third trip down the aisle, so he wants to give her the wedding of her dreams. And maybe he is an old romantic which, in this day and age, is not to be sniffed at. I don’t think it’s worth getting into a family feud over. If you can’t afford the hotel, stay in a B&B close by and you don’t have to buy them something that’s on the list. Choose your own gift or make him something personal online like a photo book or a mug with ‘Third time lucky’ on it (joke!). Enjoy the party and a night off from the kids, and make the most of the food and drink – you never know, this one might be his last!